Archive for 2010
MYTHS & FACTS ABOUT CHILD MOLESTERS
(SOURCE: http://rapeinfo.wordpress.com/2008/07/08/profile-of-a-child-molester/)
DAYCARE SAFETY TIPS FOR PARENTS
Prevent Child Abuse: Tips to Help Keep Your Child Safe in Daycare

This page contains tips on child safety and security for parents and guardians. They are simple, common sense suggestions that will help keep your children from being an easy target for a criminal. They deal with the following:
- Caring for Your Children in Various Situations
- Teaching Your Children How to Be Safe in Various Situations
- Protecting Your Children’s Identities
- Selecting a Child Care Center or Family Child Care Home
- Selecting a Nanny or Babysitter for Home Child Care
- Reporting Child Abuse
READ MORE: (SOURCE)
Networking Safety Tips: Help Keep Your Children SAFE
(SOURCE: http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/tech/tec14.shtm)
Social Networking Sites: Safety Tips for Tweens and Teens
You’ve probably learned a long list of important safety and privacy lessons already: Look both ways before crossing the street; buckle up; hide your diary where your nosy brother can’t find it; don’t talk to strangers.
The Federal Trade Commission, the nation’s consumer protection agency, is urging kids to add one more lesson to the list: Don’t post information about yourself online that you don’t want the whole world to know. The Internet is the world’s biggest information exchange: many more people could see your information than you intend, including your parents, your teachers, your employer, the police — and strangers, some of whom could be dangerous.
Social networking sites have added a new factor to the “friends of friends” equation. By providing information about yourself and using blogs, chat rooms, email, or instant messaging, you can communicate, either within a limited community, or with the world at large. But while the sites can increase your circle of friends, they also can increase your exposure to people who have less-than-friendly intentions. You’ve heard the stories about people who were stalked by someone they met online, had their identity stolen, or had their computer hacked.
Your Safety’s at Stake
The FTC suggests these tips for socializing safely online:
- Think about how different sites work before deciding to join a site. Some sites will allow only a defined community of users to access posted content; others allow anyone and everyone to view postings.
- Think about keeping some control over the information you post. Consider restricting access to your page to a select group of people, for example, your friends from school, your club, your team, your community groups, or your family.
- Keep your information to yourself. Don’t post your full name, Social Security number, address, phone number, or bank and credit card account numbers — and don’t post other people’s information, either. Be cautious about posting information that could be used to identify you or locate you offline. This could include the name of your school, sports team, clubs, and where you work or hang out.
- Make sure your screen name doesn’t say too much about you. Don’t use your name, your age, or your hometown. Even if you think your screen name makes you anonymous, it doesn’t take a genius to combine clues to figure out who you are and where you can be found.
- Post only information that you are comfortable with others seeing — and knowing — about you. Many people can see your page, including your parents, your teachers, the police, the college you might want to apply to next year, or the job you might want to apply for in five years.
- Remember that once you post information online, you can’t take it back. Even if you delete the information from a site, older versions exist on other people’s computers.
- Consider not posting your photo. It can be altered and broadcast in ways you may not be happy about. If you do post one, ask yourself whether it’s one your mom would display in the living room.
- Flirting with strangers online could have serious consequences. Because some people lie about who they really are, you never really know who you’re dealing with.
- Be wary if a new online friend wants to meet you in person. Before you decide to meet someone, do your research: Ask whether any of your friends know the person, and see what background you can dig up through online search engines. If you decide to meet them, be smart about it: Meet in a public place, during the day, with friends you trust. Tell an adult or a responsible sibling where you’re going, and when you expect to be back.
- Trust your gut if you have suspicions. If you feel threatened by someone or uncomfortable because of something online, tell an adult you trust and report it to the police and the social networking site. You could end up preventing someone else from becoming a victim.
For More Information
To learn more about staying safe online, visit the following organizations:Federal Trade Commission — www.OnGuardOnline.gov
The FTC works for the consumer to prevent fraudulent, deceptive, and unfair business practices in the marketplace and to provide information to help consumers spot, stop, and avoid them. To file a complaint or to get free information on consumer issues, visit ftc.gov or call toll-free, 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357); TTY: 1-866-653-4261. The FTC enters Internet, telemarketing, identity theft, and other fraud-related complaints into Consumer Sentinel, a secure, online database available to hundreds of civil and criminal law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and abroad.
The FTC manages OnGuardOnline.gov, which provides practical tips from the federal government and the technology industry to help you be on guard against Internet fraud, secure your computer, and protect your personal information.
GetNetWise — www.getnetwise.org
GetNetWise is a public service sponsored by Internet industry corporations and public interest organizations to help ensure that Internet users have safe, constructive, and educational or entertaining online experiences. The GetNetWise coalition wants Internet users to be just “one click away” from the resources they need to make informed decisions about their and their family’s use of the Internet.
Internet Keep Safe Coalition — www.iKeepSafe.org
iKeepSafe.org, home of Faux Paw the Techno Cat, is a coalition of 49 governors/first spouses, law enforcement, the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and other associations dedicated to helping parents, educators, and caregivers by providing tools and guidelines to teach children the safe and healthy use of technology. The organization’s vision is to see generations of children worldwide grow up safely using technology and the Internet.
i-SAFE — www.i-safe.org
Founded in 1998 and endorsed by the U.S. Congress, i-SAFE is a non-profit foundation dedicated to protecting the online experiences of youth everywhere. i-SAFE incorporates classroom curriculum with dynamic community outreach to empower students, teachers, parents, law enforcement, and concerned adults to make the Internet a safer place. Join them today in the fight to safeguard children’s online experience.
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children — www.missingkids.com; www.netsmartz.org
NCMEC is a private, non-profit organization that helps prevent child abduction and sexual exploitation; helps find missing children; and assists victims of child abduction and sexual exploitation, their families, and the professionals who serve them.
National Crime Prevention Council — www.ncpc.org; www.mcgruff.org
The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) is a private, nonprofit organization whose primary mission is to enable people to create safer and more caring communities by addressing the causes of crime and violence and reducing the opportunities for crime to occur. Among many crime prevention issues, NCPC addresses Internet Safety with kids and parents through www.mcgruff.org and public service advertising under the National Citizens’ Crime Prevention Campaign — symbolized by McGruff the Crime Dog® and his “Take A Bite Out Of Crime®.”
National Cyber Security Alliance — www.staysafeonline.org
NCSA is a non-profit organization that provides tools and resources to empower home users, small businesses, and schools, colleges, and universities to stay safe online. A public-private partnership, NCSA members include the Department of Homeland Security, the Federal Trade Commission, and many private-sector corporations and organizations.
staysafe — www.staysafe.org
staysafe.org is an educational site intended to help consumers understand both the positive aspects of the Internet as well as how to manage a variety of safety and security issues that exist online.
Wired Safety — www.wiredsafety.org
WiredSafety.org is an Internet safety and help group. Comprised of unpaid volunteers around the world, WiredSafety.org provides education, assistance, and awareness on all aspects of cybercrime and abuse, privacy, security, and responsible technology use. It is also the parent group of Teenangels.org, FBI-trained teens and preteens who promote Internet safety.
NEVER SHAKE A BABY!!!!
First I will tell you that my daughter is an Angel. She is almost 5 years old and has been through more than most adults go through. Her name is BreAnna and she is a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome with a hard blow to head. The doctors said that her injuries were more severe than being in a car accident and the worst case they have ever had. That they get 6 to 7 cases a year of babies just being shaking. That was in 2006 at just one hospital. She was 16 months old when she suffered her injuries on March 22, 2006. She spent almost entire year of 2006 in the hospital and rehab. BreAnna was released on October 22, 2006 just four days before her 2 birthday. I also have a 7 year old boy who has been wonderful through this. When he comes around her she lights up like nothing is even wrong. He loves her so much and fully understands more than a young man should. When BreAnna was hurt she was away at her father’s house, in his care 3days prior to going to the ER. Knowing something was wrong with her he tied to cover it up by waiting to see if she would be ok. After splashing cold water on her trying to wake her up and several calls to his girlfriend he finally called his girlfriend to come home cause their was something wrong with BreAnna. She came home and found bre laying on the floor gasping for air and having violent seizures, she made him call 911. She was then rushed to the hospital then shipped to St. Louis MO at the Children’s hospital. Where I could not touch her or talk to her for so long. She could not have any stimulance so her brain would not swell anymore. The doctors told me she would be a vegitable and for 3 days they asked no they begged me to take her off life support. I could not do that, I couldn’t let her go. She remained in the Children’s hospital for two months with so many ups and downs, not knowing to know what was going to happen scared me. She was always so angry never understood why she couldn’t do what she did before. Then they sent her to this rehab called Raken Jordan for another five months where they worked with her every day to try to get her strenght up to even stand in a stander with out being so mad she would have seizures. BreAnna suffered alot of injuries causing her to loose the left side of her brain almost 70%. She has a shunt, a bone flap remova, a feeding tube and at one time she had a trach. She has had so many surgeries I couldn’t tell you how many anymore. “The child Protection doctors said it was the worst case they have ever seen still to this date and did not make sense if he did not do it why did he try to cover it all up and wait so long to get her help”. When we went to court on Feb 8, 2008 the main dr who took care of her while she was STL said he was surprised that she has made it this far. She got her trach out in July 2007 and has made it through many surgeries. We have several more surgeries to go through. Bre has made it further than the Dr’s believed she would ever and they are still amazed with her and so am I and everyone who sees her. When you look at her she seems like she is perfect, like nothing is wrong but she knows it is when she trys to talk and can not get sounds out or when she sees her big brother playing and can not get up to chase him around. Every time I look at her I know she is a miracle, thank you God for your answered prayers. I believe slowly but surely she will regain more and more back.
March 22 will be the 4 year mark from her injury and her perpertrator was finally arressted in September of o7. YES..he has been released on bond the same day. We are waiting fora new trial date it has been post doned, I am sure it will be 6 months to a year before we start it. I know the law takes a long time to do what they need to do but come on 4 years. We need some prayers that he will not get away with this…that JUSTICE will be served for my daughter and every other child out their that is being abused. Why don’t we have stronger laws for our children? I hear things on the news all of the time that does not seem that important well not as important than all of our babies suffering. Then we do not do anything to protect them. What are we doing to our kids when we are raising them to think they that they can do such bad things and get away with it. I was raised to believe that certain people are here to help us and keep us safe. I tried to do things to help us but never got any help at all. When my daughter got hurt not a thing was on the news, papers..nothing. I had to call the Attorney General all the time to get them on the case. The place we lived at the time was Howell Co in Missouri and they don’t even think that “SBS” is a real thing. With all of the injuries that my daughter had, have and will continue to suffer from, how can you not believe it??? I don’t understand. I am pleading with you….PLEASE STOP THE ABUSE OF A CHILD AND DON’T SHAKE A CHILD. Do not settle for what one person says. You see a child getting hurt report it and if you have to keep doing it, do it. Lets not stand for this anymore. Those are our children they are hurting. Let people know about this tell all of your family and friends. I grew up not even knowing about it. I did not know that shaking a child caues more damages than you know. It doesn’t just hurt the child for the rest of their lifetime if they make it through it, but it affects the entire family. I never thought that when he got her for visitation that last time that I would never see her walking, talking or playing with her brother again. I do miss her so much and am very happy that I still have her but I do wish I had all of her back. I wanted so much more for her. I wanted to her to do so many things and have a family. Know they tell me that i am lucky to have her and that if she does not get sick and all of her medications work that she should live to her 20s but they do not know. I could never explain the way I felt when I got the call…I do know that NO child, sibling, grandparent or mother even a father that should EVER have to go through or see what I did. Then after fours years no justice for her or us. It is like they put it away because they now they all messed up. They should feel ashamed. They should of helped when they had the chance the many times I asked for it.
BreAnna is a beautiful young lady and what was done to her was then and still now just plum WRONG. Why do we let people get away with hurting our children? Is it because they have no rights, can’t stick up for them self or because they are innocent angels? Doesn’t make much sense to me that we can send some one to prison for selling drugs longer than we can for someone who basicaly kills a child. That could be phsicaly emotionaly or just takes have of there brain from them. Why is SBS not none to everyone, why do they think its fake or a stroke. WOW I really pray one day that our government would pass laws to protect them and not 7 page law about how its ok to kill someone on your property if you feel like your life is in danger. We can put the dealers away for years and years and then turn around a slap a person on the wrist for taking a childs life or making them completely handicapped for the rest of there life expectancy. Wait life expectancy that is murder to me. BreAnna’s dad got charged with first degree assualt with bodily harm and I can’t believe it he may get 10 to 30 years in prison. Why are we paying taxes for these people who hurt our children then to get out and act like it was no big deal and everyone forgets it. i tried so many times to have the Divison of Family Services help me the plioce and no one did anything except investigate me every time. It doesn’t make sense to me that we would not have laws to protect our very own children who are going to be running this country some day. We let things go for so long like trials and justice they shouldn’t take that long to help the families heal and try ot move on with here lifes. William Brian Hawkins took my daughter that I gave birth to from me and i did get a beautiful little angel that I love more than any thing but if you actually took time to meet these kids whose life was taken you never would forget some of the things you seen. We need help our kids need help enough is enough start protecting the rights of our children. Give stronger sentences, when they get charged with somehting that involves children they should no longer be able to have children in ther care or be around them. I know its innocent til proven guilty but if they can do it once they can do it twice. Stand up for our children who will someday be standing up for you.
It has taken me a long time but I know I have to forgive him, but that does not mean that I don’t want him punished for what he has done to my little girl who used to call him dada. (SHE WAS YOUR LITTLE GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HURT HER?)That does not mean I have to forget it or would ever beable too. I am sure I will never find any answers to what I want to know but at least I am getting BreAnna’s story out thier to the world. I pray that the all people who hurt children will all be punished and the victims will get justice. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND PLEASE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN If you want to know anything else about her story just ask. I will let you know as much as I know. If anything changes I will keep you updated. Thank you BreAnna’s Mom…Please help us protect our children and make stronger laws for them, I believe they deserve it I know BreAnna does.

Melissa Whitten
Missouri
myspace: justice4breanna@yahoo.com
If you want to try to help get laws changed email your story of a SBS victim and a pic to http://www.myspace.com/mommyslilangelbrynden or just to let people know about this stroy pass it on PLEASE we could all use some help. Thank you very much
How to Forgive Your Abuser
(SOURCE)
http://www.soul-expressions-abuse-recovery.com/how-to-forgive.html
Looking back, it seems silly, to pardon yourself for something that wasn’t our fault..but still, we carry the guilt as if we had done something wrong..yet we still find ourselves asking..how-to-forgive ourselves.
I spent 20 years carrying that guilt. How long have you been carrying it?
You don’t have to carry it you know. No matter what your circumstances were. No matter how your abuse happened.
You don’t have to punish yourself anymore. The punishment belongs with the person who took advantage of you! Not with you! The guilt, the shame, and all of the feelings of worthlessness all belong with the person who hurt you!
You don’t have to carry those feelings around anymore. They don’t belong to you. You have permission to give them away and take back your power.
If you need to know how-to-forgive, if we need forgiven for anything, it is for allowing ourselves to carry those negative feelings around with us for so long and not letting them go. It is time for the wounds inside to heal…and for you to move on with your life without the burden that you have been carrying like a bag of rocks on your back.
I had mentioned on the very first page of this site that when I was abused, it felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped out my heart leaving a black hole which I tried to fill with anything and everything.
That is true, Well, when I finally pardoned myself, I found that what I really needed to fill that hole with was love. I couldn’t receive love until I forgave myself. After I learned how-to-forgive and forgave myself, I began to gain back my self esteem and along with that, my personal power! Knowing how-to-forgive begins with giving yourself permission to forgive yourself…and I will talk more about that.
I needed to forgive myself so that she could be at peace. And you know what? When I did forgive myself, I felt such a sense of peace in my soul that words can not even describe it. Along with the peace came a feeling of personal power.
No one else was controlling my life anymore! I, finally could control my own life! With that came such enormous freedom!
Forgiveness was the key to my new life..and I believe it is the key to yours. It can open the door to personal peace, joy, freedom and power.
Just like recovery, Forgiveness is a CHOICE, one that you deserve, dear one, you have suffered enough!
Now, when it comes to your abuser, the jury is out on that one. That is a controversial subject.
I had to forgive my abusers for MYSELF. For ME and only ME. Not everyone can or wants to do that and it is strictly a personal decision. Sometimes, at least for me, it is a daily decision.
The only way that I can explain how-to-forgive a sexual abuser is knowing it is not about them deserving it. It was more about me needing to let go of my anger towards them..which at one point was eating away at me. Anger and pain are so closely linked…so for ME, I HAD to forgive in order for me to live my life to the fullest. That said, again, it is not for everyone. Don’t let ANYONE judge you! There are many women out there who can not come to this point and I certainly understand that!
There is no easy answer as to how-to-forgive your abuser or abusers.Forgiveness can be extremely difficult…when it comes to someone who hurt you so deeply. It is always a CHOICE. The thing to remember, the choice to forgive is only for YOU! Your abuser could probably care less whether you do or not!
This decision is about YOU…and YOUR peace of mind and spirit. If you choose not to, that is your choice and don’t let anyone tell you that it is wrong! Only YOU know what is right in your spirit!
I do believe, with my whole heart, that you need to forgive yourself if you still feel any guilt, shame or other negative feelings about yourself. It is a decision and a process, like I said, sometimes a daily process.
If you need help with this, it is good to find a therapist or counselor to help you with it.
What is important is that you realize if any negative feelings are still dragging you down.
1. Decide that you are ready to put healing yourself above holding onto your pain.
While it might seem obvious that someone would choose healing over pain, it really is not that simple. When you choose to forgive, a part of yourself will scream, “But s/he deserves my hatred. S/He does not deserve to be forgiven.”
It is true that your abuser does not deserve forgiveness. However, you deserve to live a life free from the pain of the abuse. You also deserve to live a life that is no longer “tied” to your abuser. Until you decide to place healing yourself over holding onto your anger, you will not be ready to begin the process of forgiveness.
2. Stop thinking about your abuser.
I did not realize how frequently I thought about my mother/abuser until I chose to work on forgiving her. I thought about her all the time, and I would get angry. I was “wed” to my abuser because she filled my thoughts.
You choose what you think about in your own head, so you have the power to stop thinking about your abuser. It will be a challenge at first, but with practice, you will learn how to stop.
I did this by choosing to think about other things. Whenever my abuser would pop into my head, I would consciously choose not to dwell on the thought. Instead, I would put on my favorite CD, call a friend, or think about something that made me happy. As I channeled my mental energy toward things that made me feel good about myself, I stopped thinking about my abusers as frequently.
3. Process your anger.
Until you process your anger, you will be unable to stop thinking about your abuser. Do something physical to release your anger once and for all. Here are some things that have for worked for other abuser survivors:
•Beat the ground with a baseball bat.
•Punch pillows.
•Take a kickboxing class.
•Throw things at the wall that won’t damage it.
•Visualize beating up your abuser.
•Write your abuser’s name on red balloons and pop them.
You can come up with your own way to process your anger. Doing something physical works best for most people. Make sure you “see” your abuser’s face as you process your anger.
4. Honor your other emotions.
As you experience grief, terror, or other emotions, honor them. Comfort yourself as you would a hurting child. I found a picture of myself as a little girl and would use it to see the wounded little girl inside. I did lots of visualizations of the adult me comforting the child me.
5. Focus on healing yourself.
As you work through the first four steps, you will find yourself freeing up a lot of energy. Use that energy to heal yourself. Do things that are good for you, like exercising or hanging out with friends. Make a conscious choice to spend your time, thoughts, and energy on things that make you feel good about yourself.
As you turn your focus away from the past and turn it onto who you are today, you will find yourself spending less time nursing the bitterness toward your abuser. As you do this, you will feel less “wed” to your abuser as you take charge of your own life.
PLEASE LOOK: Suspects Wanted by the FBI for Crimes Against Children
WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK A CHILD IS BEING ABUSED
(SOURCE: http://www.childhelp.org/pages/about-abuse)
What is child abuse?
Although there are many formal and acceptable definitions of child abuse, the following is offered as a guide for information on child abuse and neglect.
Child abuse consists of any act of commission or omission that endangers or impairs a child’s physical or emotional health and development. Child abuse includes any damage done to a child which cannot be reasonably explained and which is often represented by an injury or series of injuries appearing to be non-accidental in nature.
How do I know if I am being abused and what can I do about it?
Child abuse comes in many forms and happens to a lot of people. The 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline receives calls from people like you every day. Each call is anonymous. They have trained, professional counselors on staff to talk you through a crisis or to refer you to someone you can talk to in your area. They can also help you connect with the Child Protective Services office in your area.
I am stressed, or feel out of control with my child. I don’t know what to do and I am afraid to ask for help. What should I do?
The 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline receives calls from people like you every day. Each call is anonymous. They have trained, professional counselors on staff to talk you through a crisis or to refer you to someone you can talk to in your area.
What do I do if I think someone is abusing a child?
If a child discloses that he or she has been abused by someone, it is important that you listen to them most of all.
DO NOT
• Investigate
• Ask leading questions (a question that suggests the answer or contains the information the questioner is looking for – That man touched you, didn’t he?)
• Make promises
• Notify the parents or the caretaker
DO
• Provide a safe environment (be comforting, welcoming, and a good listener).
• Tell the child it was not his/her fault
• Listen carefully
• Document the child’s exact quotes
• Be supportive, not judgmental
• Know your limits
• Tell the truth and make no promises
• Ask ONLY four questions
• What happened?
• Who did this to you?
• Where were you when this happened?
• When did this happen?
• Asking any additional questions may contaminate a case!
Report it!
• Call your local law enforcement agency
• Call your local Child Protective Services Agency
• Call the 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline
Child Protective Services hasn’t done anything — why?
Child Protective Services (CPS) is a program mandated by individual states for the protection of children who are alleged to be abused or neglected. The function of this program is to screen and investigate allegations, perform assessments of the children’s safety and risk of harm, and evaluate the conditions that support or refute the allegations and need for intervention. The program may provide stabilization services for families to reduce risk factors. CPS does not necessarily remove a child in all allegations. Many allegations do not result in intervention. For example, in 2005, an estimated 3.6 million children received a CPS investigation; however only 899,000 were substantiated cases.
For more information, contact your local Child Protective Services or the 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline/.
Major forms of child abuse
Physical abuse – Any non-accidental injury to a child. This includes hitting, kicking, slapping, shaking, burning, pinching, hair pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, and paddling.
Sexual abuse – Any sexual act between an adult and child. This includes fondling, penetration, intercourse, exploitation, pornography, exhibitionism, child prostitution, group sex, oral sex, or forced observation of sexual acts.
Neglect – Failure to provide for a child’s physical needs. This includes lack of supervision, inappropriate housing or shelter, inadequate provision of food, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care, and inadequate hygiene.
Emotional abuse – Any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child’s mental health or social development. This includes yelling, screaming, name-calling, shaming, negative comparisons to others, telling them they are “bad, no good, worthless” or “a mistake”. It also includes the failure to provide the affection and support necessary for the development of a child’s emotional, social, physical and intellectual well-being. This includes ignoring, lack of appropriate physical affection (hugs), not saying “I love you”, withdrawal of attention, lack of praise, and lack of positive reinforcement.
“Why” Child Abuse Occurs
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a discussion of the four most common follows:.
1. physical abuse
2. sexual abuse
3. neglect
4. emotional abuse
I. Physical abuse
Children who have been physically abused present with a multitude of psychiatric disturbances:
Anxiety
aggressive behavior
paranoid ideation
posttraumatic stress disorder
depressive disorders
suicidal risks are increased
poor self esteem
depression
dissociative disorders
substance abuse (alcohol, drugs)
violent behavior/outbursts
High risk parents/parent, care givers:
1. Over 90% of abusive parents do not have a psychotic or criminal personality.
Single parent is the sole responsible care giver of a child. Usually with little or no family or friends to assist them. They are lonely, did not plan their pregnancy, have little or no knowledge of child care and child development, and have unrealistic beleifs of child behavior. substance abuse is a common finding in families of abused children.
2. Groups living in poverty
a. increased number of crisis in their lives
b. they have limited access to economic or social resources for support during times of stress
c. increased violence in the communities where they live
d. association with poverty and teenage mothers, substance abuse
3. Other high risk parents are those where spousal abuse occurs in the home.
Parent with limited education, or mentally handicapped parents who perceive what is normal child behavior as misbehaving and punish the child harshly.
4. High risk children
a. Mentally retarded children
b. premature infants
c. infants with chronic medical problems
d. colicky babies
e. children with behavioral problems
5. 10-40% of abusive parents have experienced physical abuse as children.
This is only a statistic not an excuse for abuse.
3. Neglect
Neglect accounts for more deaths than physical abuse, such as medical needs neglect which occurs when the parents belief system runs against the medical needs of the child. Neglect to provide adequate nutrition, clothing, heat, basic shelter, and protection from environmental hazards are other forms of neglect leading to failure to thrive or the direct cause of injury to a child.
4. Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse includes intentional verbal or behavioral acts that result in adverse emotional consequences, emotional neglect occurs when a caretaker intentionally does not provide nurturing verbal and behavioral action that are needed for healthy development.
Emotional abuse can include:
a. rejection
b. scapegoat assignment
c. isolation
d. criticism
e. terrorizing of a child
5. Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is defined as involving any minor child (age dependent upon state/country) that is intended for the sexual gratification of an adult.
Sexual abuse includes oral-genital, genital-genital, genital-rectal, hand-genital, hand-rectal or hand-breast contact; and showing pornography to a child or using a child in the production of pornography. Sexual intercourse includes vaginal, oral, or rectal penetration. Penetration is entry into an orifice with or without tissue injury.
In studies of juvenile offenders, younger perpetrators tend to have younger victims, but are more likely to have intercourse with older victims. Sex acts by young children, between young children is a learned behavior and are associated with sexual abuse or exposure to adult sex or pornography.
Sexual abuse most commonly occurs by an individual known by the victim, parent or other family member (intrafamilial). Rarely is the abuser a stranger. Intrafamilial and incest sexual abuse is difficult to document and manage because the child just be protected from additional abuse and coercion to not reveal or deny the abuse, while attempts are made to preserve the family unit. Children themselves may also decide to recant thier recent accusations of abuse due to fear of retaliation by the perpetrator or other family members. They may also recant out of fear of loosing contact with the perpetrator who is commonly a family member or close friend tied to t he family by various social means.
Violence is not common in sexual abuse, however, its incidence increases with the age and size of the victim and specific traits in the perpetrator. Violence is more likely to occur in association with a single incident by a stranger. In cases of vilent incest, the father has been described as sociopathic, with a sexual abuse extending outside the family circle.
Clinical manifestations of sexual abuse
1. Vaginal, penile, or rectal pain, redness of area, or a discharge with or without bleeding.
2. Chronic painful urination, constipation
3. Premature puberty in a female (nonspecific to abuse)
Behaviors associated with sexual abuse
1. sexualized activity with peers, animals, or objects
2. seductive behavior
3. age-inappropriate sexual knowledge and curiosity Statistics
Nonspecific behaviors to sexual abuse
These behaviors are nonspecific to abuse but are in need of investigation for needs of the child:
1. suicide gesture
2. fear of an individual or place
3. nightmares
4. sleep disorders
5. regression
6. aggression
7. withdrawn behavior
8. post traumatic stress disorder
9. poor self-esteem
10. depression
11. poor school performance (especially when previously good)
12. running away
13. self-mutilation
14. anxiety
15. fire setting
16. multiple personalities
17. somatization
18. phobias
19. prostitution
20. drug abuse
21. eating disorders
Statistics
Most of the increased numbers of child abuse is in the increase in the reporting of sexual abuse and the publicity surrounding sexual abuse.
Rate increase between 1976 to 1984 rose from 1.4/10,000 to 17/10,000 children.
In 1991:
838,232 cases of child abuse reported to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, 15% was sexual abuse.
Female abuse
1. 12-38% were sexually abused by age 18.
2. 8% incidence of extra familial sexual abuse is actually reported.
3. 2% incidence of intrafamilial sexual abuse is actually reported.
Male abuse
1. 3-9% of males in the population were sexually abused by age 18.
2. males constitute 20% of the reports.
3. Pedophiles show a predilection for boys, theory suggests that the number of males who are sexually abused is higher.
4. boys may refrain from reporting the incident due to homophobic social stigma. Also, males are “expected” to be able to protect themselves from assault, boys may feel guilty if they are victimized.
Age ranges in sexual abuse
15 million women in the US have been involved in a incestuous relationship.
1. 33% of victims are under age 6
2. 33% are 6-12 years old
3. 33% are 12-18 years old.
Sex, age of offenders, and who they are
1. 97% are male who are on the average 10 years older than their victims.
2. Females are more often perpetrators in child-care settings, including baby sitting.
3. Abuse by females may be higher than reported due to younger children confusing sexual abuse with normal hygiene care and adolescent males may not be trained to recognize sexual activity with an older female as a form of abuse.
4. sexual abuse by stepfathers is 5 times higher than among natural fathers, the most common age for onset of abuse is age 10
5. abuse of daughters by fathers and stepfathers is the most common form of reported incest. Commonly the mother is unavailable to the father and is usually chronically ill or depressed. The mother is commonly the victim of child abuse when young.
6. brother-sister incest is the most common form of incest (but not the most commonly reported).
Incestuous fathers, a profile
1. Rigid
2. patriarchal
3. emotionally immature
4. alcoholic or drug abuse common
5. usually do not engage in extramarital affairs
Mothers in the home where father-daughter or son incest
1. chronically depressed
2. chronically ill
3. work takes them away on business trips overnight
4. show little or no interest in their husbands sexually
Pedophiles, a profile
Pedophiles become sexually attracted to children begins in their adolescence. Pedophiles seek opportunities that place them in and around children.
The common victim profile of a Pedophiles is:
a. mental and physical handicaps
b. unloved, unwanted children
c. previously abused children
d. children of single parent families
e. children of drug abusing parents
f. children with low self esteem
g. children who are poor achievers
Child Molestation Signs
STOP:
If you suspect your child may have recently been sexually abused, call 1.800.656.HOPE. This is the number for the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. They can help you verify if your child is being abused and learn what to do about it if they are.
Signs Of Child Molestation
The younger the child, the more difficult it is to determine if your child has been or is being molested. As a teenager, or even pre-teen, they may just blurt it out, but then you have the problem determining if the accusation was motivated by something other than molestation. We’ve all heard of the false accusations that ruin the reputations of upstanding citizens. So, how can you know if someone is victimizing your child? Unless you witness it or someone admits it…you can’t! Everything relies on your best guess based on the evidence you find. Obviously, you need to have very strong suspicions before formally accusing someone and needlessly damaging their reputation. A great tool to help you assess the possibility of molestation is the following Signs of Child Molestation produced by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Following the signs, we’ll discuss some actions to take.
Signs of Sexual Exploitation in Children: Parents, grandparents, and guardians should be aware of the signs noted below that could indicate your child has been sexually molested. You should note that some of these behaviors may have other explanations, but it is important to assist your child no matter what the cause of these symptoms or behaviors.
* Changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness, and excessive crying
* Bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed, or other sleep disturbances
* Acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest in sexual matters
* A sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior
* Regression to infantile behavior; clinging
* School or behavioral problems
* Changes in toilet-training habits
* A fear of certain places, people, or activities
* Bruises, rashes, cuts, limping, multiple or poorly explained injuries
* Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas
If you observe any of these behaviors, talk to your child about the causes. Behavioral changes such as these may be due to causes other than sexual exploitation such as a medical, family, or school problem. Also keep in mind that sometimes children do not always demonstrate obvious signs such as these but may do or say something that hints at the exploitation.
Information adapted from Just in Case…Parental guidelines in case you are considering daycare and Parental guidelines in case your child might someday be a victim of sexual exploitati..right © respectively 1989 and 2003 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved.
Child Molestation Conclusion: As you can see from above, the signs can be caused by other things and, even if no signs are present, molestation may be happening. If you suspect molestation, take actions to verify your suspicions. Investigate with your child, the child’s friends, teachers, friend’s parents, etc. If, at any age, your child confirms your suspicions, you must report it to your local government for their investigation. To get more information ..ing your child recover or to recover yourself, visit our page Child Sexual Abuse. If you want God’s help to resolve this and to recover, visit God help me.
PARENTS 411: Self-Help Resources/Links/Contact Info

State Organization Phone
Alabama Dept. of Human Resources 334 242-9500
Alaska 24-hr hotline: 800 478-4444
Arizona Phoenix hotline: 800 541-5781
Arkansas Dept. of Human Services 800 482-5964
California Dept. of Social Services Office of Child Protective Services 916 445-2771
Colorado Denver County: 24 hr. hotline 303 727-3000
Connecticut Reporting 24 hrs: 800 842-2599
Delaware Reporting 24 hrs in-state: 800 292-9582
District of Columbia Report child abuse
Report child neglect 202 576-6762
202 727-0995
Florida Abuse Registry 800 962-2873
Georgia Dept. of Human Resources Child Protective and Placement Services Unit: 404 657-3408
Hawaii Dept. of Human Services 24hr hotline: 808 832-5300
Idaho For information and referral to regional office: 208 334-0808
Illinois In-State Parents under stress and Reporting 24 hrs: 800 252-2873
Indiana Reporting: 800 562-2407
Iowa In-state hotline: 800 362-2178
Kansas Reporting 24 hr hotline: 800 922-5330
Kentucky Local Dept. for Social Services or statewide hotline: 800 752-6200
Louisiana 24 hr hotline: 504 925-4571
Maine Reporting 24 hrs: 800 452-1999
Maryland County office of Dept. of Human Resources: Child Protective Services. Click here for Phone Listings
Massachusetts 24 hr hotline: 800 792-5200
Michigan 24 hr. hotline: 800 942-4357
Minnesota County office of Dept. of Social Services. Click here for Phone Listings
Mississippi 24 hr hotline: 800 222-8000
Missouri Reporting: 800 392-3738
Montana 24 hr. hotline: 800 332-6100
Nebraska Reporting 24 hrs: 800 471-5128
Nevada 24 hr. hotline: 800 992-5757
New York Reporting 24 hrs: 800 342-3720
New Mexico 24 hr. hotline: 800 432-2075
New Jersey 24 hr. hotline: 800 792-8610
New Hampshire In-state hotline: 800 894-5533
North Dakota Reporting: County Social Services or: 701 328-4806
North Carolina 24 hr. hotline: 800 662-7030
Ohio Dept. of Human Services Child Protective 614 466-0995
Oklahoma 24 hr. hotline: 800 522-3511
Oregon Dept. of Human Resources Childrens’ Services Division 503 945-5651
Pennsylvania 24 hr. hotline in-state: 800 932-0313
Puerto Rico 24 hr. hotline: 800 981-8333
Rhode Island 24 hr. hotline: 800 742-4453
South Carolina Dept. of Social Services Division of Child Protective and Preventive Services 803 734-5670
South Dakota Child Protective Services 605 773-3227
Tennessee Dept. of Human Services Child Protective Services 615 313-4746
Texas 24 hr. hotline: 800 252-5400
Utah 24 hr. hotline: 800 678-9399
Vermont Dept. of Social and Rehabilitation Services 802 241-2131
Virginia 24 hr. in state hotline: 800 552-7096
Washington 24 hr. hotline: 800 562-5624
West Virginia 24 hr. hotline: 800 352-6513
Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services 608 266-3036
Wyoming In-State Reporting: 307 777-7922
It’s a very long road to recovery after abuse, but it’s not unreachable!!!
Here are some chat rooms, sites & forums that can help you to achieve a full recovery:
http://curezone.com/forums/s.asp?f=62&ob=t&c=1
http://www.sssalas.com/EmotionalHealing.html
http://www.catharsisfoundation.org/index.html
http://www.vansondesign.com/RecoveryCanada/SexualAbuse/Forums/
http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=22518
http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showforum=8
http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/lofiversion/index.php?f8.html
http://s.webring.com/hub?ring=healingquest
http://www.menstuff.org/resources/resourcefiles/abuserecov.html
CHILD ABUSE ADVOCATES:
http://www.stopcsa.org/
www.dreamcatchersforabusedchildren.com
http://www.gwmedical.com/links.php
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/advocacy/position_statements.shtml
SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY:
http://www.familywatchdog.us/
http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/registry.htm
http://www.nsopr.gov/
STRUGGLING PARENTS:
www.myspace.com/brokenmoms
http://www.crisislink.org/
http://www.parenting.org/
http://www.parents.com/
CHILD ABUSE HOTLINES:
http://reportchildabusenow.com/
http://www.childhelp.org/get_help
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/hotlines
http://www.childabuse.org/report%20abuse.html
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
http://www.ndvh.org/
http://www.domesticviolence.org/
http://www.domesticviolencehelp.org/
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/DV.html
RAPE:
http://www.rainn.org/
http://www.rapeis.org/
http://www.dancinginthedarkness.com/
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2402/
INCEST:
http://www.siawso.org/
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/incesthelp.html
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/isa.htm
http://www.heartsandminds.org/self/links/abuseincestfamilyviolence.htm
SURVIVORS:
http://www.ascasupport.org/
http://www.catharsisfoundation.org/
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/tips
http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?cat=14
MALE SURVIVORS:
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/male.html
http://www.berkshirefreepress.org/
http://www.pandys.org/malesurvivors.html
BIPOLAR/MENTAL ILLNESS:
http://www.bipolar.com/
http://www.preventmentalillness-salem.org/
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=4
POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER:
http://www.ptsdassociation.com/
http://ptsdguide.com/ptsd-complex.shtml
http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/ptsd
TEEN SUPPORT SITES:
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/mainsite.php
http://teenchallengeusa.com/
COLLEGE STUDENTS SUPPORT SITES:
http://www.mycollegetips.com/college-student-help.html
http://www.ulifeline.org/main/Home.html
http://www.strivetogether.org/resource_center/College_Students8.htm
TEEN DATING VIOLENCE:
http://www.acadv.org/dating.html
http://www.atg.wa.gov/ProtectingYouth/TeenDatingViolence.aspx
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/teen_dating_violence.html
SUICIDE & DEPRESSION:
http://www.hopeline.com/
http://help-with-depression.net/
SELF-INJURY:
http://selfmutilatorsanonymous.org/
http://www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms
EATING DISORDERS, ANOREXIA, BULEMIA:
http://anorexiahelp.net/
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
SUBSTANCE ABUSE:
http://www.na.org/
http://www.hbo.com/addiction/
UNWANTED PREGNANCY:
http://www.pregnancyhelponline.com/
http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/parent_pregnant.php
http://www.familyfirstaid.org/teen-pregnancy.html
http://www.daveandtrisha.com/pregnancy.shtml
GRIEF HELPLINE:
http://grief-help.com/
http://www.grief.net/
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/someone_died.html
http://griefhelp.org/uploads/griefhelp_20book0306open.pdf
STALKING:
http://www.stalkingbehavior.com/
http://orgs.usd.edu/savvy/stalking.html
http://www.ncvc.org/src/Main.aspx
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/stalking.html
CYBERBULLYING:
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html
http://www.cyberbullyhelp.com/
http://www.cyberbullying.info/help.php
http://www.online-bully.com/
JUSTICE FOR CHILDREN:
http://www.jfcadvocacy.org/
http://www.childrensjustice.org/membership.html
http://www.justiceforchildrenmi.org/goals.aspx
CPS/DHS MISHANDLINGS HELPLINE:
http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/cpsmishandle.php
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/
CHILDREN’S MEDICAL QUESTIONS:
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/
http://www.webmd.com/
http://kidshealth.org/
http://children.webmd.com/guide/childrens-health-finding-help
MISSING CHILDREN:
http://hardwarehell.com/missing.htm
http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US
http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PubCaseSearchServlet?act=usMapSearch&missState=CA&searchLang=en_US
http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Missing_Children.shtml
ONLINE COUNSELING SERVICES:
PSYCHOLOGIST LOCATER:
http://locator.apa.org/
http://www.therapistlocator.net/
https://www.aacc.net/shop/ccn_search.php
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/databases/
SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUG
AND ALCHOHOL RECOVERY LOCATER:
http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/
http://recoveryfinder.com/
http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
http://www.friendofbills.com/substance-abuse-recovery-information.htm
CHILD DAYCARE LOCATER BY STATE:
http://daycarelocator.net/
http://www.childcareaware.org/en/
http://daycare.com/listing.html
http://www.daycareworks.com/cg/daycare_locator.jsp
DOCTOR LOCATER BY STATE:
http://www.diagnose-me.com/regional-A.html
FAMILY & MARRIAGE COUNSELING LOCATER BY STATE:
http://family-marriage-counseling.com/
http://www.familyhelp411.com/parent%20resources/therapist_locator.php
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AUTISM AND LEARNING DISABILITIES
National Center for Learning Disabilities
US Autism & Asperger Association
EMPLOYMENT AND JOBS
Career Voyages – Apprenticeships and Internships
State Vocational Education and Rehabilitation
National Organization on Disability
Association of Small Business Development Centers
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – Giant Eagle
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – KMart
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – Kroger/King Soopers/City Market
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – Sam’s Club
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – Target
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – Walgreen’s
Low Cost / Free Generic Prescriptions – Walmart
Medicare Patient Assistance Programs
Needy Meds Cost Assistance Programs
Partnership for Prescription Assistance (888) 477-2669
Patient Assistance Programs Center
CHILDREN’S HEALTH AND DAYCARE
Childcare Resources – Child Care Aware
Childcare Resources – from US Government
Kids Health Newletter and Information Center
National Child Care Information Center
CHRONIC ILLNESS
Chronic Illness Resources for Teens
Healing Well – Chronic Illness Resources
Improving Chronic Illness Care – Resources and Research
MedLine Plus – Coping With Chronic Ilness Resources
GRIEF AND LOSS
AARP – Grief and Loss Resources and Information
Help Guide – Grief and Loss Coping Resources
LEGAL DIFFICULTIES
FindLaw – National Lawyer Resource List
FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES
Acorn Housing Corporation – prevent foreclosure
Federal Student Aid – Free Application
Government Assistance – Benefits, Grants and Financial Aid
Medicare Website – Medication Assistance Programs
MedLine – Financial Assistance for Medical Costs
Needy Meds – Cost Assistance Programs
Partnership for Prescription Assistance (888) 477-2669
Patient Assistance Programs Center – Rx Help
Red Cross – Emergency Travel Assistance
Small Business Adminstration – Financial Assistance
U.S. Dept. Housing & Urban Development – affordable rentals
PREGNANCY ISSUES
National High Risk Pregnancy Support Network
Planned Parenthood: 1-800-230-PLAN
Postpartum Support International
USA: National STD Hotline : 1-800-227-8922
SENIOR CITIZENS’ SERVICES
Alliance for Aging Research – 1-800-639-2421
Bridging The Prescription Coverage Gap
Eldercare Locator – 1-800-677-1116
Medicare Website – Medication Assistance Programs
National Council on Aging – 1-800-424-9046
National Institute on Aging – 1-800-222-2225
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE AND WEIGHT ISSUES
America on The Move – Steps to a Healthier Life
Center for Disease Control and Prevention – Obesity Information and Resources
Daily Strength – Obesity Support Group (and other health issues)
Healthy Counties Database – Childhood Obesity Prevention Programs
Healthy Food Assistance Programs
Nutrition for Kids – Feeding Kids Newsletter
Overeaters Anonymous Support Groups
Reliable Info on Health Topics
Revolution Health – Kids and Weight Community Forum
SparkPeople – Weight Management Tracking and Support
Stickk – Online Weight Management Incentive Program
The Daily Plate – Weight Management Tracking and Support
Weight Control Information Network
Weight Management and Obesity Resource List
Weight Watchers Community Forum
EATING DISORDERS
National Eating Disorders Information Centre
National Mental Health Information Center – Eating Disorders
National Institutes for Health Eating Disorder Resources
National Eating Disorders Organization
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE
Internet Resources on Violence Against Women
National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence 1 800 537-2238
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD)
Help for Teens and Young Adults with OCD
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Obsessive Compulsive Foundation
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
Borderline Personality Disorder Resource Center
National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder – Support Group
Borderline Personality Disorder Central
ADDICTION AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES
Drug and Alcohol Resource Center 1 800 784 6776
Help Starts Here – Addiction Resources
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
Prevention Resources – Kids and Teens
Resources, Training and Action on Alcohol Issues
Treatment Facilities Resources
ANXIETY, PHOBIAS AND PANIC ATTACKS
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
National Center for Health and Wellness
ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER (ADD/ADHD)
Attention Deficit Disorder Association
Attention Deficit Disorder Resources
CHADD – Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
Special Education Resources on the Internet (SERI)
DEPRESSION
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
Depression Experience Journal – Children/Families
Every Minute – National Depression Resource List
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
National Institutes for Health – Depression Resources
POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD)
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
Mental Health Sanctuary Resources
Mental Health Today PTSD Resources
SUICIDE INTERVENTION AND PREVENTION
Every Minute Suicide Prevention – Resources & Support
Global Directory of Suicide Hotlines
Hopeline : 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433
http://www.suicidehotlines.com
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Low Income Mental Health Services Locator
SAVE – Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
Information on Child Abuse
Following is a list of Web sites containing useful information on child abuse as well as effective parenting. Many of the organizations who sponsor the sites use offer additional resources such as consultation, training, research, advocacy, or dissemination of information on child abuse.
American Humane – Devoted to preventing cruelty, abuse, neglect, and exploitation of children and animals.
Center for Effective Parenting – Provides helpful parenting information.
Child Care Aware – Committed to helping parents find the best information on locating quality child care and child care resources in their community.
Child Welfare League of America – Child Welfare League of America National Data Analysis System CWLA, in cooperation with the nation’s state child welfare agencies, provides a comprehensive, interactive child welfare database. Internet users can create customized tables and graphs, as well as access to information on child abuse.
Child Welfare Information Gateway – Child Welfare Information Gateway connects professionals and concerned citizens to timely, essential information and resources targeted to the safety, permanency, and well-being of children and families.
Child Welfare League of America National Data Analysis System – CWLA, in cooperation with the nation’s state child welfare agencies, provides information on child abuse in a comprehensive, interactive child welfare database.
Child Trends Data Bank – Source for the latest national trends and research on over 100 key indicators of child and youth well-being.
Children’s Action Alliance – Helps promote the well-being of children and their families through research, policy development, media campaigns and advocacy.
Children’s Defense Fund – Mission is to ensure every child a Healthy Start, a Head Start, a Fair Start, a Safe Start, and a Moral Start in life.
Children Now – Information on child abuse and on making children the top public policy priority.
Circle of Parents – Network of parent-led self-help groups where parents and caregivers can share ideas, celebrate successes, and address the challenges surrounding parenting.
Family and Marriage Counseling Directory – Articles, resources, and databases for finding family and marriage counselors.
Focus Adolescent Services – Resources on Teen and Family Issues. Topics include anger and violence; self injury such as carving, branding and marking; and abuse.
G.W. Medical Publishing – G.W. Medical Publishing is a leading clinical and forensic publisher serving the medical, legal, social service, and law enforcement communities with the resources they need to combat child abuse, sexual assault, sexual exploitation, domestic violence, child trafficking, and other maltreatment.
KIDS COUNT Data Book – Project by the Annie E. Casey Foundation to track status of children in the United States.
Life Prints Child Protection Technology – Life-Prints’ mission is to provide the most advanced technology to the Child/Infant ID market, by developing and supporting proprietary, user-friendly software that interfaces with state-of-art equipment, with levels of customer support unattainable elsewhere.
MEDLINEplus – A service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health.
National Data Archive on Child Abuse – Exchange among researched in child maltreatment field.
NetSmartz – Interactive, educational safety resource that teaches kids and teens how to stay safer on the Internet.
New Parents Network – Articles and information on child abuse and other topics for new parents.
Parents Anonymous – The nation’s oldest for information on child abuse prevention.
Prevent Child Abuse America – Dedicated to providing information on child abuse and inspiring hope to everyone involved in the effort to prevent the abuse and neglect of children.
Search Engine for Children – This site contains over 20,000 child-safe sites, and over 4,000 categories including the arts, computers, directories, entertainment, games, health, news, people, pre-school, school time, sports, hobbies, and family.
Stand for Children – Advocate for improvements to and funding for programs that give every child a fair chance in life.
State Sex Offender Registries – Registered sex offenders, listed by state.
The Stephanie Zimbalist Caring for Kids Fund – Judith Moose, Publicist and PR Friend to Childhelp is donating $2-3/book sold, including her up coming book, “The Greatest Cowboy of Them All,” a reflective story about Johnny Cash that will be distributed through WalMart.
TeensHealth – Created by The Nemours Foundation’s Center for Children’s Health Media, TeensHealth provides teens and families with up-to-date, jargon-free advice about health, relationships, and growing up. Topics include issues such as depression and self-cutting, abuse in the family, and safety basics such as internet safety.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau – Government site featuring information on child abuse, statistics, and resources related to child welfare.
Zero to Three – Publications, reference guides to programs, projects and professional developmental services promoting the healthy development of our nation’s infants and toddlers.
SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY LINKS:
Spanking: Criminal behavior or parenting tool?

A new study out this month about the benefits of spanking toddlers has come smack (no pun intended) in the middle of what is quickly becoming a discipline crisis in our home.
As our daughter hits the 3-year-old mark all those nasty toddler behaviors we thought we had escaped during the notorious “terrible two’s” have started popping up regularly.
Climbing on top of anything and everything, and then leaping to her near-certain death, has become Ava’s new favorite pastime. The time-outs that previously kept her from doing such things, or at least limited them to a one-time only event, no longer have much of an impact, nor do taking away toys or other previously successful methods.
Nonetheless, we keep plodding away with those supposedly tried-and-true methods. We also praise her when she plays nicely, like those top-selling parenting books urge. And we’ve tried some techniques the parenting gurus don’t encourage, like bribery.
Still, the climbing, the yelling, the tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, continue. Last night, she told her daddy he was getting on her nerves. When I put her in time-out and stood there to make her stay in place, she waved me away and told me to, “go back to work.”
She’s on a regular schedule, gets plenty of rest and eats healthy, with little to no sugar in her diet. When I spend 20 hours or so working from home, Ava isn’t in day care, she’s downstairs with her grandmother. She stays active — playing soccer, going to dance class, children’s church and having playdates with friends. We get on the floor and play with her every day; at home she has her choice of educational and pure fun activities, from musical instruments and dolls to computers and movies, in a large, designated playroom and in areas throughout our home.
But wrapping herself in the living room curtains, bypassing the child-proof locks and tossing food out of the pantry and jumping on the couch seem to be far more entertaining. And when she’s disciplined for the bad behavior she practically laughs in our faces.
What on earth is a parent to do?
My husband and I were spanked, infrequently, as children, and it seemed to do the trick. I’m not suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome, and my husband is a gentle soul. Maybe our parents and the generations before them knew what they were doing after all.
Today, however, spanking is practically considered child abuse. In fact, it’s banned in dozens of countries — including Germany, Spain, Italy and Sweden — that claim it creates aggressive, violent children who are confused when their parents insist they not hit and then turn around and spank them. And it looks likely we’ll see similar bans in the United States. In 2007, California proposed an anti-spanking bill that sparked a national debate, but ultimately failed to pass.
When I first experienced this non-spanking theory nearly 20 years ago I was fresh out of college with no kids of my own. After a friend explained that when her unruly toddler threw herself on the grocery store floor she would “reason” with her and, if that failed, walk a safe distance away until the tantrum passed, I nearly choked on my own laughter. The idea of reasoning with an irrational toddler in a public place seemed ridiculous.
By the time Ava was born, though, my thoughts on the subject were less clear. There was something to be said for not hitting a child, and as we held our sweet baby girl in our arms we decided spanking wouldn’t be on our discipline menu.
That is until a few months ago when Ava wrestled away from me at the playground and nearly ran into traffic. I didn’t take time to think about politically-correct discipline. I grabbed her by the arm and swatted her bottom. The spanking certainly grabbed her attention. And it made me rethink everything I thought I had known.
I don’t relish the thought of spanking, but to be honest it seems to be an effective tool when used in certain circumstances. I don’t believe it should be used often, or in anger, but I’m not so sure it shouldn’t be on the menu at all.
A new report out this month gives credence to that idea.
The report, by a Calvin College psychology professor who has spent a decade researching spanking, says corporal punishment forms more well-adjusted people later in life.
Marjorie Gunnoe says the study finds children who remember being spanked on the backside with an open hand do better in school, perform more volunteer work and are more optimistic than others who were not physically disciplined.
Spanking seems to be most effective when used sparingly on children ages 2-6. Those who were spanked at ages 7-11 did seem to be more aggressive.
Presenting her findings at a conference of the Society for Research in Child Development, Gunnoe said, “This in no way should be thought of as a green light for spanking.” Instead, the practice should be considered when lawmakers consider banning spanking, Gunnoe said, adding, “I don’t promote spanking, but there’s not evidence to outlaw it.”
As we struggle to find effective discipline techniques in our home, I’d love to hear from you. Is spanking a yes or no in your household? What discipline methods work best with your own children?
Tom Arnold Sheds Light on the Pain of Sexual Abuse
Tom Arnold Sheds Light on the Pain of Sexual Abuse
HIAWATHA, Iowa, Jan. 14 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ —
Tom Arnold, actor, comedian and television host carried a secret for more than four decades.
In 2008, the Ottumwa, Iowa native revealed he had been the victim of childhood sexual abuse. He shared details of his painful past during media interviews for the movie “Gardens of the Night.” In the movie, his role was that of a pedophile. Arnold drew on his personal experience for the role and modeled the character after his abuser — even dressing like him.
From age four to seven Arnold was sexually abused by a 19-year-old male babysitter. The sexual abuse occurred several times a week. In an effort to keep him quiet the babysitter gave Arnold a candy bar and told him he would hurt his father if he told anyone. Years later as an adult Arnold confronted his abuser.
Today, at the invitation of St. Luke’s Health Care Foundation, Arnold and his wife Ashley Groussman toured St. Luke’s Child Protection Center (CPC) in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Arnold hopes his visit to St. Luke’s Child Protection Center and personal story will increase awareness of the high number of children who are abused in Iowa and across the country.
According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences study by the Centers for Disease Control one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. However, it’s believed most cases of abuse are never reported.
St. Luke’s Child Protection Center works with law enforcement and the Department of Human Services (DHS) to determine if child abuse has occurred, to develop a plan of action to protect the child from future abuse and get the child and family members counseling. They also work with law enforcement to hold the abuser accountable.
Before St. Luke’s CPC existed, families, teachers and other child care providers didn’t know where to get help for an abused child. Often, the child would be interviewed by multiple people in multiple places over the course of an investigation. It was very difficult to find a physician who felt comfortable doing an abuse examination. Today, the children are brought to St. Luke’s Child Protection Center where they tell their story to one person while the interview is recorded.
They also receive a medical examination by sensitive physicians and nurses who can assure them about the health of their bodies. In 2008, the CPC saw 1,162 children. Last year the CPC served 1,319 children. The CPC believes part of this increase is due to the consequences of the 2008 Cedar River flooding in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, which devastated a significant portion of the city and the downturn in the economy.
According to CPC Director Sue Tesdahl, more individuals are sharing housing, which elevates family stress. There has also been a rise in juvenile abusers. Tesdahl says this could be attributed to more unsupervised children while parents work extra hours.
Tesdahl says the CPC saw an increase in drug exposure testing last year. She attributes that to the fact that DHS orders a hair stat test on almost every foster care removal exam. Tesdahl says DHS rarely orders this test for sexual abuse investigations.
In 2008, St. Luke’s Health Care Foundation successfully raised $4.5 million for St. Luke’s Child Protection Center. The two-year fundraising effort was initiated to raise $2.2 million for the purchase and renovation of the current facility and $2 million to establish a permanent endowment. The new facility opened August 2008.
“We are extremely grateful to all the donors who have made the Child Protection Center the model program that it is,” said Shannon Duval, president of St. Luke’s Health Care Foundation. “Because no child or family is ever charged for the services they receive, the center is consistently short of funds. It would take an endowment in excess of $10 million to completely fund operations and, as a result, we are constantly seeking additional funding to support the worthwhile work taking place at the CPC.”
SOURCE St. Luke’s Hospital
RELATED LINKS
http://www.stlukescr.org
Debunk all the common myths about child abuse
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Debunk all the common myths about child abuse
BY CAROLLYN MCKINSTRY TYLER’S JUSTICE CENTER FOR CHILDREN STOCKTON, ILL.
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We often have misconceptions about child abuse, but to protect children, we need to be aware of what abuse is and what we can do to stop it.
Myth 1: Children lie about being abused. It is very rare that a child would lie about abuse. One of the important services Tyler’s provides is a trained forensic interview for the child. The forensic interviewer has extensive training in how to ask questions in a developmentally appropriate manner and in a way that is not leading. The goal of every interview is to discover the truth.
Myth 2: Abuse rarely happens. Although we would all like to believe that abuse is rare, unfortunately that is not true. Statistics say that one out of every three girls and one out of every six boys has been abused. That is a staggering amount. Child abuse hides under a societal cloak of secrecy that keeps most people quiet about the abuse they have suffered.
Myth 3: Abuse only happens to other people. “Other people” may be those of a different race, religion, socioeconomic status, or who live in a different location. Abuse of a child is a terrible act and many of us want to distance ourselves from it. So we imagine that it happens far away from us, somewhere where it doesn’t hurt the ones we care about. But abuse can happen anywhere and to anyone. Although that awareness can be uncomfortable, it can also help stop abuse. As a community we need to be aware of who lives in our neighborhoods, where our children are going and who is watching our children. This is the one of the most effective ways we can prevent and stop abuse.
Myth 4: Abusers are easy to identify. We assume that an abuser will appear creepy or scary and someone we would never leave our children with, but an abuser can be anyone. This is why it is so important to be aware of who your child is spending time with. Talk to your child about boundaries and what appropriate behavior is. That way, if something happens that makes your child uncomfortable; your child will know something isn’t right.
Myth 5: Children will show signs of abuse. We assume if a child is being abused, that child will have obvious signs and symptoms, such as acting out. Many times children keep abuse a secret and do not show any signs that abuse is happening or has happened. This is often because the abuser uses intimidation and threats so that the child is afraid to tell. Some children do not tell because developmentally children lack an understanding about abuse and its implications. That is why it is very important to talk to your child about abuse so that your child knows abuse is wrong. Also reassure your child that he or she will not be in trouble for telling if abuse does happen.
All of these myths, if they persist, create an atmosphere of denial and secrecy. Abusers rely on myths just like these to help them continue abusing children.
If an abuser can be suave and kind you will give them access to your child. If you think child abuse only happens to “other people” you won’t look too closely at who they are or what they are doing. If you don’t believe child abuse happens it can happen and can continue happening and you won’t notice it.
If you don’t believe a child when he or she tells, then an abuser can keep abusing your child and other children without being caught. Let’s open our eyes to the truth about abuse and do all we can to keep children safe.
The author is a forensic interviewer at Tyler’s Justice Center, which coordinates services for children of Carroll, Jo Daviess and Stephenson counties who were victims of sexual and-or serious physical abuse. She has a master’s degree in professional counseling from Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, Ill., and has experience counseling people with mental illness. The agency’s Web site is www.tylersjusticecenter.org. The author’s e-mail address is cmckinstry@aeroinc.net.
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DREAMCATCHERS FOR ABUSED CHILDREN, INC. is an official non-profit 501(c)3 child abuse & neglect organization. Our mission is to educate the public on all aspects of child abuse such as symptoms, intervention, prevention, statistics, reporting, and helping victims locate the proper resources necessary to achieve a full recovery. We also cover areas such as bullying, teen suicide & prevention, children\'s rights, child trafficking, missing & exploited children, online safety, and pedophiles/sex offenders.

















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