Moving to a new house is a minefield for adults, never mind children, so when the time comes, and you need to leave your home, suburb or even state, you need to approach the move sensitively with young ones.

A change of home is an upheaval at the best of times, but after a breakdown or change in the family situation, the effects can be more strongly felt. While you are busying yourself with contracts, real estate agents, boxes and transportation, your child will more than likely be sat watching on the sidelines and start to feel anxious.

There are several things that may cause a child to feel upset and anxious about the impending move.

• Loss

Your child may be focusing on what they are potentially going to lose. They may feel that they are going to lose friendships. Having to start over in a new school and establish themselves in a new peer group can be daunting. Even the fact that they are not going to have the same bedroom can make them feel that they are losing out. Use positive language and reinforce the positives they will gain when they move; perhaps a larger bedroom, a garden or even the opportunity to decorate their room the color that they want.

Tip: don’t buy new bed linen for their new room. Keeping their familiar bedding will soothe them during the first few nights in the new house.

• Exclusion

While you are busy organizing for the move, your child may feel excluded from the process. If it is possible, try to arrange a visit to the new property ahead of the move so that your child can see where they are going to be living. This will also remove the worry that they may have about whether the will like it.

If you can’t facilitate a visit to the property, Google Maps is a great way of introducing your children to their new neighborhood. They will be able to explore the area before they even move in. Make a list of the amenities that they can find:

• Their new school
• The bus stop
• The store
• The park

Not only will this keep them entertained while you are busy, but it’s a great way to get them familiar with their new suburb.

• Not communicating their worries

Your child may not want to tell you how they are really feeling because they know that you have a lot on your plate. It’s important that you spend relaxed time with them to give them the opportunity to tell you anything that is on their mind. Even minor worries can escalate if your child doesn’t share with you. Depending on the age of the child, they may not comprehend what moving to a new house means: does it mean they have to leave their toys? Will the dog come too?

Once you have established what it is worrying your child specifically, you can take action about alleviating their fears more proactively.

1. Be honest

Use age appropriate language and ways to tell your child about the move. While you may think that shielding them from it is protecting them, children have a knack of being able to read between the lines, but sometimes drawing the wrong conclusion.

If your child is very young, you can draw pictures to show them what moving to a new house means. Be ready to answer their questions honestly. By talking through what is going to happen, when move day comes, they will be prepared.

2. Check your stress

It’s all very good and well telling the child not to worry when you are worried yourself. Moving home is one of the most stressful things that you can do, so be kind to yourself during this period too. Children are like sponges and can pick up nuances in your mood. You don’t have to be rosy all of the time, but just be mindful that you have a young audience who will take cue from your attitude and mood.

Try to alleviate external stresses so that you can best manage the move. Financial worries will add to your stress, so if taking a loan will help you to move home stress-free, so be it. Bonsai Finance provide loans to people even if they have bad credit rating for exactly this type of situation. Make sure that you eat healthily and sleep well during this time; during times of stress, your body’s natural defenses can become challenged, so you must try to keep yourself healthy.

3. Give the children responsibilities

Make a list of jobs that your child can do to help you. Even the simplest of jobs will make them feel valued and part of the team. There is a high chance that you will have to repack their toy box, but by including them, they will feel less likely to feel anxious. Older children can be given the task of labeling boxes – a very important job that will make them like a boss!

4. Ask for help

You can’t do everything yourself, so ask for help from friends and family. People are typically more than willing to help loved ones, especially in a stressful situation. Don’t be shy about asking for childcare help if it means that you will be able to get jobs done quicker. With all the disruption, your child may not want to leave your side if they are feeling anxious, but that’s ok, don’t make a big deal out of it. Just simply ask your friend to mind your child while you work.

Unpack your child’s room first so that they can immediately feel at home. Pack toiletries, nightclothes, and any particularly special toys of your child in hand luggage so that you can access them quickly. You will all be exhausted and excited at the same time once you have moved. This is a great opportunity for new beginnings and dreams.