Posted by Sandra On January - 19 - 2010ADD COMMENTS
First I will tell you that my daughter is an Angel. She is almost 5 years old and has been through more than most adults go through. Her name is BreAnna and she is a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome with a hard blow to head. The doctors said that her injuries were more severe than being in a car accident and the worst case they have ever had. That they get 6 to 7 cases a year of babies just being shaking. That was in 2006 at just one hospital. She was 16 months old when she suffered her injuries on March 22, 2006. She spent almost entire year of 2006 in the hospital and rehab. BreAnna was released on October 22, 2006 just four days before her 2 birthday. I also have a 7 year old boy who has been wonderful through this. When he comes around her she lights up like nothing is even wrong. He loves her so much and fully understands more than a young man should. When BreAnna was hurt she was away at her father’s house, in his care 3days prior to going to the ER. Knowing something was wrong with her he tied to cover it up by waiting to see if she would be ok. After splashing cold water on her trying to wake her up and several calls to his girlfriend he finally called his girlfriend to come home cause their was something wrong with BreAnna. She came home and found bre laying on the floor gasping for air and having violent seizures, she made him call 911. She was then rushed to the hospital then shipped to St. Louis MO at the Children’s hospital. Where I could not touch her or talk to her for so long. She could not have any stimulance so her brain would not swell anymore. The doctors told me she would be a vegitable and for 3 days they asked no they begged me to take her off life support. I could not do that, I couldn’t let her go. She remained in the Children’s hospital for two months with so many ups and downs, not knowing to know what was going to happen scared me. She was always so angry never understood why she couldn’t do what she did before. Then they sent her to this rehab called Raken Jordan for another five months where they worked with her every day to try to get her strenght up to even stand in a stander with out being so mad she would have seizures. BreAnna suffered alot of injuries causing her to loose the left side of her brain almost 70%. She has a shunt, a bone flap remova, a feeding tube and at one time she had a trach. She has had so many surgeries I couldn’t tell you how many anymore. “The child Protection doctors said it was the worst case they have ever seen still to this date and did not make sense if he did not do it why did he try to cover it all up and wait so long to get her help”. When we went to court on Feb 8, 2008 the main dr who took care of her while she was STL said he was surprised that she has made it this far. She got her trach out in July 2007 and has made it through many surgeries. We have several more surgeries to go through. Bre has made it further than the Dr’s believed she would ever and they are still amazed with her and so am I and everyone who sees her. When you look at her she seems like she is perfect, like nothing is wrong but she knows it is when she trys to talk and can not get sounds out or when she sees her big brother playing and can not get up to chase him around. Every time I look at her I know she is a miracle, thank you God for your answered prayers. I believe slowly but surely she will regain more and more back.
March 22 will be the 4 year mark from her injury and her perpertrator was finally arressted in September of o7. YES..he has been released on bond the same day. We are waiting fora new trial date it has been post doned, I am sure it will be 6 months to a year before we start it. I know the law takes a long time to do what they need to do but come on 4 years. We need some prayers that he will not get away with this…that JUSTICE will be served for my daughter and every other child out their that is being abused. Why don’t we have stronger laws for our children? I hear things on the news all of the time that does not seem that important well not as important than all of our babies suffering. Then we do not do anything to protect them. What are we doing to our kids when we are raising them to think they that they can do such bad things and get away with it. I was raised to believe that certain people are here to help us and keep us safe. I tried to do things to help us but never got any help at all. When my daughter got hurt not a thing was on the news, papers..nothing. I had to call the Attorney General all the time to get them on the case. The place we lived at the time was Howell Co in Missouri and they don’t even think that “SBS” is a real thing. With all of the injuries that my daughter had, have and will continue to suffer from, how can you not believe it??? I don’t understand. I am pleading with you….PLEASE STOP THE ABUSE OF A CHILD AND DON’T SHAKE A CHILD. Do not settle for what one person says. You see a child getting hurt report it and if you have to keep doing it, do it. Lets not stand for this anymore. Those are our children they are hurting. Let people know about this tell all of your family and friends. I grew up not even knowing about it. I did not know that shaking a child caues more damages than you know. It doesn’t just hurt the child for the rest of their lifetime if they make it through it, but it affects the entire family. I never thought that when he got her for visitation that last time that I would never see her walking, talking or playing with her brother again. I do miss her so much and am very happy that I still have her but I do wish I had all of her back. I wanted so much more for her. I wanted to her to do so many things and have a family. Know they tell me that i am lucky to have her and that if she does not get sick and all of her medications work that she should live to her 20s but they do not know. I could never explain the way I felt when I got the call…I do know that NO child, sibling, grandparent or mother even a father that should EVER have to go through or see what I did. Then after fours years no justice for her or us. It is like they put it away because they now they all messed up. They should feel ashamed. They should of helped when they had the chance the many times I asked for it.
BreAnna is a beautiful young lady and what was done to her was then and still now just plum WRONG. Why do we let people get away with hurting our children? Is it because they have no rights, can’t stick up for them self or because they are innocent angels? Doesn’t make much sense to me that we can send some one to prison for selling drugs longer than we can for someone who basicaly kills a child. That could be phsicaly emotionaly or just takes have of there brain from them. Why is SBS not none to everyone, why do they think its fake or a stroke. WOW I really pray one day that our government would pass laws to protect them and not 7 page law about how its ok to kill someone on your property if you feel like your life is in danger. We can put the dealers away for years and years and then turn around a slap a person on the wrist for taking a childs life or making them completely handicapped for the rest of there life expectancy. Wait life expectancy that is murder to me. BreAnna’s dad got charged with first degree assualt with bodily harm and I can’t believe it he may get 10 to 30 years in prison. Why are we paying taxes for these people who hurt our children then to get out and act like it was no big deal and everyone forgets it. i tried so many times to have the Divison of Family Services help me the plioce and no one did anything except investigate me every time. It doesn’t make sense to me that we would not have laws to protect our very own children who are going to be running this country some day. We let things go for so long like trials and justice they shouldn’t take that long to help the families heal and try ot move on with here lifes. William Brian Hawkins took my daughter that I gave birth to from me and i did get a beautiful little angel that I love more than any thing but if you actually took time to meet these kids whose life was taken you never would forget some of the things you seen. We need help our kids need help enough is enough start protecting the rights of our children. Give stronger sentences, when they get charged with somehting that involves children they should no longer be able to have children in ther care or be around them. I know its innocent til proven guilty but if they can do it once they can do it twice. Stand up for our children who will someday be standing up for you.
It has taken me a long time but I know I have to forgive him, but that does not mean that I don’t want him punished for what he has done to my little girl who used to call him dada. (SHE WAS YOUR LITTLE GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HURT HER?)That does not mean I have to forget it or would ever beable too. I am sure I will never find any answers to what I want to know but at least I am getting BreAnna’s story out thier to the world. I pray that the all people who hurt children will all be punished and the victims will get justice. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND PLEASE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN If you want to know anything else about her story just ask. I will let you know as much as I know. If anything changes I will keep you updated. Thank you BreAnna’s Mom…Please help us protect our children and make stronger laws for them, I believe they deserve it I know BreAnna does.
If you want to try to help get laws changed email your story of a SBS victim and a pic to http://www.myspace.com/mommyslilangelbrynden or just to let people know about this stroy pass it on PLEASE we could all use some help. Thank you very much
If you are a survivor, have you forgiven yourself yet?
Looking back, it seems silly, to pardon yourself for something that wasn’t our fault..but still, we carry the guilt as if we had done something wrong..yet we still find ourselves asking..how-to-forgive ourselves.
I spent 20 years carrying that guilt. How long have you been carrying it?
You don’t have to carry it you know. No matter what your circumstances were. No matter how your abuse happened.
You don’t have to punish yourself anymore. The punishment belongs with the person who took advantage of you! Not with you! The guilt, the shame, and all of the feelings of worthlessness all belong with the person who hurt you!
You don’t have to carry those feelings around anymore. They don’t belong to you. You have permission to give them away and take back your power.
If you need to know how-to-forgive, if we need forgiven for anything, it is for allowing ourselves to carry those negative feelings around with us for so long and not letting them go. It is time for the wounds inside to heal…and for you to move on with your life without the burden that you have been carrying like a bag of rocks on your back.
I had mentioned on the very first page of this site that when I was abused, it felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped out my heart leaving a black hole which I tried to fill with anything and everything.
That is true, Well, when I finally pardoned myself, I found that what I really needed to fill that hole with was love. I couldn’t receive love until I forgave myself. After I learned how-to-forgive and forgave myself, I began to gain back my self esteem and along with that, my personal power! Knowing how-to-forgive begins with giving yourself permission to forgive yourself…and I will talk more about that.
I needed to forgive myself so that she could be at peace. And you know what? When I did forgive myself, I felt such a sense of peace in my soul that words can not even describe it. Along with the peace came a feeling of personal power.
No one else was controlling my life anymore! I, finally could control my own life! With that came such enormous freedom!
Forgiveness was the key to my new life..and I believe it is the key to yours. It can open the door to personal peace, joy, freedom and power.
Just like recovery, Forgiveness is a CHOICE, one that you deserve, dear one, you have suffered enough!
Now, when it comes to your abuser, the jury is out on that one. That is a controversial subject.
I had to forgive my abusers for MYSELF. For ME and only ME. Not everyone can or wants to do that and it is strictly a personal decision. Sometimes, at least for me, it is a daily decision.
The only way that I can explain how-to-forgive a sexual abuser is knowing it is not about them deserving it. It was more about me needing to let go of my anger towards them..which at one point was eating away at me. Anger and pain are so closely linked…so for ME, I HAD to forgive in order for me to live my life to the fullest. That said, again, it is not for everyone. Don’t let ANYONE judge you! There are many women out there who can not come to this point and I certainly understand that!
There is no easy answer as to how-to-forgive your abuser or abusers.Forgiveness can be extremely difficult…when it comes to someone who hurt you so deeply. It is always a CHOICE. The thing to remember, the choice to forgive is only for YOU! Your abuser could probably care less whether you do or not!
This decision is about YOU…and YOUR peace of mind and spirit. If you choose not to, that is your choice and don’t let anyone tell you that it is wrong! Only YOU know what is right in your spirit!
I do believe, with my whole heart, that you need to forgive yourself if you still feel any guilt, shame or other negative feelings about yourself. It is a decision and a process, like I said, sometimes a daily process.
If you need help with this, it is good to find a therapist or counselor to help you with it.
What is important is that you realize if any negative feelings are still dragging you down.
Buying Ambien 1.Decide that you are ready to put healing yourself above holding onto your pain.
While it might seem obvious that someone would choose healing over pain, it really is not that simple. When you choose to forgive, a part of yourself will scream, “But s/he deserves my hatred. S/He does not deserve to be forgiven.”
It is true that your abuser does not deserve forgiveness. However, you deserve to live a life free from the pain of the abuse. You also deserve to live a life that is no longer “tied” to your abuser. Until you decide to place healing yourself over holding onto your anger, you will not be ready to begin the process of forgiveness.
https://www.emilymunday.co.uk/xou7oz48 2. Stop thinking about your abuser.
I did not realize how frequently I thought about my mother/abuser until I chose to work on forgiving her. I thought about her all the time, and I would get angry. I was “wed” to my abuser because she filled my thoughts.
You choose what you think about in your own head, so you have the power to stop thinking about your abuser. It will be a challenge at first, but with practice, you will learn how to stop.
I did this by choosing to think about other things. Whenever my abuser would pop into my head, I would consciously choose not to dwell on the thought. Instead, I would put on my favorite CD, call a friend, or think about something that made me happy. As I channeled my mental energy toward things that made me feel good about myself, I stopped thinking about my abusers as frequently.
3. Process your anger.
Until you process your anger, you will be unable to stop thinking about your abuser. Do something physical to release your anger once and for all. Here are some things that have for worked for other abuser survivors:
•Beat the ground with a baseball bat.
•Punch pillows.
•Take a kickboxing class.
•Throw things at the wall that won’t damage it.
•Visualize beating up your abuser.
•Write your abuser’s name on red balloons and pop them.
You can come up with your own way to process your anger. Doing something physical works best for most people. Make sure you “see” your abuser’s face as you process your anger.
4. Honor your other emotions.
As you experience grief, terror, or other emotions, honor them. Comfort yourself as you would a hurting child. I found a picture of myself as a little girl and would use it to see the wounded little girl inside. I did lots of visualizations of the adult me comforting the child me.
Buy Ambien Visa 5. Focus on healing yourself.
As you work through the first four steps, you will find yourself freeing up a lot of energy. Use that energy to heal yourself. Do things that are good for you, like exercising or hanging out with friends. Make a conscious choice to spend your time, thoughts, and energy on things that make you feel good about yourself.
As you turn your focus away from the past and turn it onto who you are today, you will find yourself spending less time nursing the bitterness toward your abuser. As you do this, you will feel less “wed” to your abuser as you take charge of your own life.
https://www.scarpellino.com/nj36s89g What is child abuse?
Although there are many formal and acceptable definitions of child abuse, the following is offered as a guide for information on child abuse and neglect.
Child abuse consists of any act of commission or omission that endangers or impairs a child’s physical or emotional health and development. Child abuse includes any damage done to a child which cannot be reasonably explained and which is often represented by an injury or series of injuries appearing to be non-accidental in nature.
Child abuse comes in many forms and happens to a lot of people. The 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline receives calls from people like you every day. Each call is anonymous. They have trained, professional counselors on staff to talk you through a crisis or to refer you to someone you can talk to in your area. They can also help you connect with the Child Protective Services office in your area.
I am stressed, or feel out of control with my child. I don’t know what to do and I am afraid to ask for help. What should I do?
The 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline receives calls from people like you every day. Each call is anonymous. They have trained, professional counselors on staff to talk you through a crisis or to refer you to someone you can talk to in your area.
If a child discloses that he or she has been abused by someone, it is important that you listen to them most of all. DO NOT
• Investigate
• Ask leading questions (a question that suggests the answer or contains the information the questioner is looking for – That man touched you, didn’t he?)
• Make promises
• Notify the parents or the caretaker DO
• Provide a safe environment (be comforting, welcoming, and a good listener).
• Tell the child it was not his/her fault
• Listen carefully
• Document the child’s exact quotes
• Be supportive, not judgmental
• Know your limits
• Tell the truth and make no promises
• Ask ONLY four questions
• What happened?
• Who did this to you?
• Where were you when this happened?
• When did this happen?
• Asking any additional questions may contaminate a case! Report it!
• Call your local law enforcement agency
• Call your local Child Protective Services Agency
• Call the 24-Hour Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline
Child Protective Services hasn’t done anything — why?
Child Protective Services (CPS) is a program mandated by individual states for the protection of children who are alleged to be abused or neglected. The function of this program is to screen and investigate allegations, perform assessments of the children’s safety and risk of harm, and evaluate the conditions that support or refute the allegations and need for intervention. The program may provide stabilization services for families to reduce risk factors. CPS does not necessarily remove a child in all allegations. Many allegations do not result in intervention. For example, in 2005, an estimated 3.6 million children received a CPS investigation; however only 899,000 were substantiated cases.
Major forms of child abuse Physical abuse – Any non-accidental injury to a child. This includes hitting, kicking, slapping, shaking, burning, pinching, hair pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, and paddling.
Sexual abuse – Any sexual act between an adult and child. This includes fondling, penetration, intercourse, exploitation, pornography, exhibitionism, child prostitution, group sex, oral sex, or forced observation of sexual acts.
Neglect – Failure to provide for a child’s physical needs. This includes lack of supervision, inappropriate housing or shelter, inadequate provision of food, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care, and inadequate hygiene.
Emotional abuse – Any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child’s mental health or social development. This includes yelling, screaming, name-calling, shaming, negative comparisons to others, telling them they are “bad, no good, worthless” or “a mistake”. It also includes the failure to provide the affection and support necessary for the development of a child’s emotional, social, physical and intellectual well-being. This includes ignoring, lack of appropriate physical affection (hugs), not saying “I love you”, withdrawal of attention, lack of praise, and lack of positive reinforcement.
Child abuse encompasses a spectrum of abusive actions, from acts of commission, to lack of action or omission. Abuse can start even before the birth of the child, and can have adverse effects on the child. Such as maternal drug abuse and failure to seek appropriate prenatal health care during pregnancy. Child abuse has many faces,
a discussion of the four most common follows:.
1. physical abuse
2. sexual abuse
3. neglect
4. emotional abuse
I. Physical abuse
Children who have been physically abused present with a multitude of psychiatric disturbances:
Anxiety
aggressive behavior
paranoid ideation
posttraumatic stress disorder
depressive disorders
suicidal risks are increased
poor self esteem
depression
dissociative disorders
substance abuse (alcohol, drugs)
violent behavior/outbursts
High risk parents/parent, care givers:
1. Over 90% of abusive parents do not have a psychotic or criminal personality.
Single parent is the sole responsible care giver of a child. Usually with little or no family or friends to assist them. They are lonely, did not plan their pregnancy, have little or no knowledge of child care and child development, and have unrealistic beleifs of child behavior. substance abuse is a common finding in families of abused children.
2. Groups living in poverty
a. increased number of crisis in their lives
b. they have limited access to economic or social resources for support during times of stress
c. increased violence in the communities where they live
d. association with poverty and teenage mothers, substance abuse
3. Other high risk parents are those where spousal abuse occurs in the home.
Parent with limited education, or mentally handicapped parents who perceive what is normal child behavior as misbehaving and punish the child harshly.
4. High risk children
a. Mentally retarded children
b. premature infants
c. infants with chronic medical problems
d. colicky babies
e. children with behavioral problems
5. 10-40% of abusive parents have experienced physical abuse as children.
This is only a statistic not an excuse for abuse.
3. Neglect
Neglect accounts for more deaths than physical abuse, such as medical needs neglect which occurs when the parents belief system runs against the medical needs of the child. Neglect to provide adequate nutrition, clothing, heat, basic shelter, and protection from environmental hazards are other forms of neglect leading to failure to thrive or the direct cause of injury to a child.
4. Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse includes intentional verbal or behavioral acts that result in adverse emotional consequences, emotional neglect occurs when a caretaker intentionally does not provide nurturing verbal and behavioral action that are needed for healthy development.
Emotional abuse can include:
a. rejection
b. scapegoat assignment
c. isolation
d. criticism
e. terrorizing of a child
5. Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is defined as involving any minor child (age dependent upon state/country) that is intended for the sexual gratification of an adult.
Sexual abuse includes oral-genital, genital-genital, genital-rectal, hand-genital, hand-rectal or hand-breast contact; and showing pornography to a child or using a child in the production of pornography. Sexual intercourse includes vaginal, oral, or rectal penetration. Penetration is entry into an orifice with or without tissue injury.
In studies of juvenile offenders, younger perpetrators tend to have younger victims, but are more likely to have intercourse with older victims. Sex acts by young children, between young children is a learned behavior and are associated with sexual abuse or exposure to adult sex or pornography.
Sexual abuse most commonly occurs by an individual known by the victim, parent or other family member (intrafamilial). Rarely is the abuser a stranger. Intrafamilial and incest sexual abuse is difficult to document and manage because the child just be protected from additional abuse and coercion to not reveal or deny the abuse, while attempts are made to preserve the family unit. Children themselves may also decide to recant thier recent accusations of abuse due to fear of retaliation by the perpetrator or other family members. They may also recant out of fear of loosing contact with the perpetrator who is commonly a family member or close friend tied to t he family by various social means.
Violence is not common in sexual abuse, however, its incidence increases with the age and size of the victim and specific traits in the perpetrator. Violence is more likely to occur in association with a single incident by a stranger. In cases of vilent incest, the father has been described as sociopathic, with a sexual abuse extending outside the family circle.
Clinical manifestations of sexual abuse
1. Vaginal, penile, or rectal pain, redness of area, or a discharge with or without bleeding.
2. Chronic painful urination, constipation
3. Premature puberty in a female (nonspecific to abuse)
Behaviors associated with sexual abuse
1. sexualized activity with peers, animals, or objects
2. seductive behavior
3. age-inappropriate sexual knowledge and curiosity Statistics
Nonspecific behaviors to sexual abuse
These behaviors are nonspecific to abuse but are in need of investigation for needs of the child:
1. suicide gesture
2. fear of an individual or place
3. nightmares
4. sleep disorders
5. regression
6. aggression
7. withdrawn behavior
8. post traumatic stress disorder
9. poor self-esteem
10. depression
11. poor school performance (especially when previously good)
12. running away
13. self-mutilation
14. anxiety
15. fire setting
16. multiple personalities
17. somatization
18. phobias
19. prostitution
20. drug abuse
21. eating disorders
Statistics
Most of the increased numbers of child abuse is in the increase in the reporting of sexual abuse and the publicity surrounding sexual abuse.
Rate increase between 1976 to 1984 rose from 1.4/10,000 to 17/10,000 children.
In 1991:
838,232 cases of child abuse reported to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, 15% was sexual abuse.
Female abuse
1. 12-38% were sexually abused by age 18.
2. 8% incidence of extra familial sexual abuse is actually reported.
3. 2% incidence of intrafamilial sexual abuse is actually reported.
Male abuse
1. 3-9% of males in the population were sexually abused by age 18.
2. males constitute 20% of the reports.
3. Pedophiles show a predilection for boys, theory suggests that the number of males who are sexually abused is higher.
4. boys may refrain from reporting the incident due to homophobic social stigma. Also, males are “expected” to be able to protect themselves from assault, boys may feel guilty if they are victimized.
Age ranges in sexual abuse
15 million women in the US have been involved in a incestuous relationship.
1. 33% of victims are under age 6
2. 33% are 6-12 years old
3. 33% are 12-18 years old.
Sex, age of offenders, and who they are
1. 97% are male who are on the average 10 years older than their victims.
2. Females are more often perpetrators in child-care settings, including baby sitting.
3. Abuse by females may be higher than reported due to younger children confusing sexual abuse with normal hygiene care and adolescent males may not be trained to recognize sexual activity with an older female as a form of abuse.
4. sexual abuse by stepfathers is 5 times higher than among natural fathers, the most common age for onset of abuse is age 10
5. abuse of daughters by fathers and stepfathers is the most common form of reported incest. Commonly the mother is unavailable to the father and is usually chronically ill or depressed. The mother is commonly the victim of child abuse when young.
6. brother-sister incest is the most common form of incest (but not the most commonly reported).
Incestuous fathers, a profile
1. Rigid
2. patriarchal
3. emotionally immature
4. alcoholic or drug abuse common
5. usually do not engage in extramarital affairs
Mothers in the home where father-daughter or son incest
1. chronically depressed
2. chronically ill
3. work takes them away on business trips overnight
4. show little or no interest in their husbands sexually
Pedophiles, a profile
Pedophiles become sexually attracted to children begins in their adolescence. Pedophiles seek opportunities that place them in and around children.
Help to identify the signs of child molestation. Learn what to look for and what to do if you find it.
STOP:
If you suspect your child may have recently been sexually abused, call 1.800.656.HOPE. This is the number for the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. They can help you verify if your child is being abused and learn what to do about it if they are.
Signs Of Child Molestation
The younger the child, the more difficult it is to determine if your child has been or is being molested. As a teenager, or even pre-teen, they may just blurt it out, but then you have the problem determining if the accusation was motivated by something other than molestation. We’ve all heard of the false accusations that ruin the reputations of upstanding citizens. So, how can you know if someone is victimizing your child? Unless you witness it or someone admits it…you can’t! Everything relies on your best guess based on the evidence you find. Obviously, you need to have very strong suspicions before formally accusing someone and needlessly damaging their reputation. A great tool to help you assess the possibility of molestation is the following Signs of Child Molestation produced by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Following the signs, we’ll discuss some actions to take.
Signs of Sexual Exploitation in Children: Parents, grandparents, and guardians should be aware of the signs noted below that could indicate your child has been sexually molested. You should note that some of these behaviors may have other explanations, but it is important to assist your child no matter what the cause of these symptoms or behaviors.
* Changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness, and excessive crying
* Bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed, or other sleep disturbances
* Acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest in sexual matters
* A sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior
* Regression to infantile behavior; clinging
* School or behavioral problems
* Changes in toilet-training habits
* A fear of certain places, people, or activities
* Bruises, rashes, cuts, limping, multiple or poorly explained injuries
* Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas
If you observe any of these behaviors, talk to your child about the causes. Behavioral changes such as these may be due to causes other than sexual exploitation such as a medical, family, or school problem. Also keep in mind that sometimes children do not always demonstrate obvious signs such as these but may do or say something that hints at the exploitation.
Child Molestation Conclusion: As you can see from above, the signs can be caused by other things and, even if no signs are present, molestation may be happening. If you suspect molestation, take actions to verify your suspicions. Investigate with your child, the child’s friends, teachers, friend’s parents, etc. If, at any age, your child confirms your suspicions, you must report it to your local government for their investigation. To get more information ..ing your child recover or to recover yourself, visit our page Child Sexual Abuse. If you want God’s help to resolve this and to recover, visit God help me.
Posted by Sandra On January - 17 - 201013 COMMENTS
State-by-State Listings:
State Organization Phone
Alabama Dept. of Human Resources 334 242-9500
Alaska 24-hr hotline: 800 478-4444
Arizona Phoenix hotline: 800 541-5781
Arkansas Dept. of Human Services 800 482-5964
California Dept. of Social Services Office of Child Protective Services 916 445-2771
Colorado Denver County: 24 hr. hotline 303 727-3000
Connecticut Reporting 24 hrs: 800 842-2599
Delaware Reporting 24 hrs in-state: 800 292-9582
District of Columbia Report child abuse
Report child neglect 202 576-6762
202 727-0995
Florida Abuse Registry 800 962-2873
Georgia Dept. of Human Resources Child Protective and Placement Services Unit: 404 657-3408
Hawaii Dept. of Human Services 24hr hotline: 808 832-5300
Idaho For information and referral to regional office: 208 334-0808
Illinois In-State Parents under stress and Reporting 24 hrs: 800 252-2873
Indiana Reporting: 800 562-2407
Iowa In-state hotline: 800 362-2178
Kansas Reporting 24 hr hotline: 800 922-5330
Kentucky Local Dept. for Social Services or statewide hotline: 800 752-6200
Louisiana 24 hr hotline: 504 925-4571
Maine Reporting 24 hrs: 800 452-1999
Maryland County office of Dept. of Human Resources: Child Protective Services. Click here for Phone Listings
Massachusetts 24 hr hotline: 800 792-5200
Michigan 24 hr. hotline: 800 942-4357
Minnesota County office of Dept. of Social Services. Click here for Phone Listings
Mississippi 24 hr hotline: 800 222-8000
Missouri Reporting: 800 392-3738
Montana 24 hr. hotline: 800 332-6100
Nebraska Reporting 24 hrs: 800 471-5128
Nevada 24 hr. hotline: 800 992-5757
New York Reporting 24 hrs: 800 342-3720
New Mexico 24 hr. hotline: 800 432-2075
New Jersey 24 hr. hotline: 800 792-8610
New Hampshire In-state hotline: 800 894-5533
North Dakota Reporting: County Social Services or: 701 328-4806
North Carolina 24 hr. hotline: 800 662-7030
Ohio Dept. of Human Services Child Protective 614 466-0995
Oklahoma 24 hr. hotline: 800 522-3511
Oregon Dept. of Human Resources Childrens’ Services Division 503 945-5651
Pennsylvania 24 hr. hotline in-state: 800 932-0313
Puerto Rico 24 hr. hotline: 800 981-8333
Rhode Island 24 hr. hotline: 800 742-4453
South Carolina Dept. of Social Services Division of Child Protective and Preventive Services 803 734-5670
South Dakota Child Protective Services 605 773-3227
Tennessee Dept. of Human Services Child Protective Services 615 313-4746
Texas 24 hr. hotline: 800 252-5400
Utah 24 hr. hotline: 800 678-9399
Vermont Dept. of Social and Rehabilitation Services 802 241-2131
Virginia 24 hr. in state hotline: 800 552-7096
Washington 24 hr. hotline: 800 562-5624
West Virginia 24 hr. hotline: 800 352-6513
Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services 608 266-3036
Wyoming In-State Reporting: 307 777-7922
CHILD ABUSE RECOVERY HELP
It’s a very long road to recovery after abuse, but it’s not unreachable!!!
Here are some chat rooms, sites & forums that can help you to achieve a full recovery:
SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUG
AND ALCHOHOL RECOVERY LOCATER:
http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/
http://recoveryfinder.com/
http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
http://www.friendofbills.com/substance-abuse-recovery-information.htm
CHILD DAYCARE LOCATER BY STATE:
http://daycarelocator.net/
http://www.childcareaware.org/en/
http://daycare.com/listing.html
http://www.daycareworks.com/cg/daycare_locator.jsp
DOCTOR LOCATER BY STATE:
http://www.diagnose-me.com/regional-A.html
FAMILY & MARRIAGE COUNSELING LOCATER BY STATE:
http://family-marriage-counseling.com/
http://www.familyhelp411.com/parent%20resources/therapist_locator.php
Following is a list of Web sites containing useful information on child abuse as well as effective parenting. Many of the organizations who sponsor the sites use offer additional resources such as consultation, training, research, advocacy, or dissemination of information on child abuse.
Child Care Aware – Committed to helping parents find the best information on locating quality child care and child care resources in their community. Child Welfare League of America – Child Welfare League of America National Data Analysis System CWLA, in cooperation with the nation’s state child welfare agencies, provides a comprehensive, interactive child welfare database. Internet users can create customized tables and graphs, as well as access to information on child abuse. Child Welfare Information Gateway – Child Welfare Information Gateway connects professionals and concerned citizens to timely, essential information and resources targeted to the safety, permanency, and well-being of children and families. Child Welfare League of America National Data Analysis System – CWLA, in cooperation with the nation’s state child welfare agencies, provides information on child abuse in a comprehensive, interactive child welfare database. Child Trends Data Bank – Source for the latest national trends and research on over 100 key indicators of child and youth well-being. Children’s Action Alliance – Helps promote the well-being of children and their families through research, policy development, media campaigns and advocacy. Children’s Defense Fund – Mission is to ensure every child a Healthy Start, a Head Start, a Fair Start, a Safe Start, and a Moral Start in life.
Children Now – Information on child abuse and on making children the top public policy priority.
Circle of Parents – Network of parent-led self-help groups where parents and caregivers can share ideas, celebrate successes, and address the challenges surrounding parenting. Family and Marriage Counseling Directory – Articles, resources, and databases for finding family and marriage counselors. Focus Adolescent Services – Resources on Teen and Family Issues. Topics include anger and violence; self injury such as carving, branding and marking; and abuse.
G.W. Medical Publishing – G.W. Medical Publishing is a leading clinical and forensic publisher serving the medical, legal, social service, and law enforcement communities with the resources they need to combat child abuse, sexual assault, sexual exploitation, domestic violence, child trafficking, and other maltreatment.
KIDS COUNT Data Book – Project by the Annie E. Casey Foundation to track status of children in the United States. Life Prints Child Protection Technology – Life-Prints’ mission is to provide the most advanced technology to the Child/Infant ID market, by developing and supporting proprietary, user-friendly software that interfaces with state-of-art equipment, with levels of customer support unattainable elsewhere. MEDLINEplus – A service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health. National Data Archive on Child Abuse – Exchange among researched in child maltreatment field.
NetSmartz – Interactive, educational safety resource that teaches kids and teens how to stay safer on the Internet. New Parents Network – Articles and information on child abuse and other topics for new parents. Parents Anonymous – The nation’s oldest for information on child abuse prevention. Prevent Child Abuse America – Dedicated to providing information on child abuse and inspiring hope to everyone involved in the effort to prevent the abuse and neglect of children.
Search Engine for Children – This site contains over 20,000 child-safe sites, and over 4,000 categories including the arts, computers, directories, entertainment, games, health, news, people, pre-school, school time, sports, hobbies, and family. Stand for Children – Advocate for improvements to and funding for programs that give every child a fair chance in life. State Sex Offender Registries – Registered sex offenders, listed by state. The Stephanie Zimbalist Caring for Kids Fund – Judith Moose, Publicist and PR Friend to Childhelp is donating $2-3/book sold, including her up coming book, “The Greatest Cowboy of Them All,” a reflective story about Johnny Cash that will be distributed through WalMart. TeensHealth – Created by The Nemours Foundation’s Center for Children’s Health Media, TeensHealth provides teens and families with up-to-date, jargon-free advice about health, relationships, and growing up. Topics include issues such as depression and self-cutting, abuse in the family, and safety basics such as internet safety.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau – Government site featuring information on child abuse, statistics, and resources related to child welfare. Zero to Three – Publications, reference guides to programs, projects and professional developmental services promoting the healthy development of our nation’s infants and toddlers.
New York (OPENPRESS) January 9, 2010 — Child abuse has reached epidemic proportions and child sexual abuse in schools throughout the nation has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect their children.
Child sexual abuse in schools is happening all over the country. Although the vast majority of educators and other school employees are not child abusers, the stories continue to unfold throughout the nation. Just this past week, there were two incidents in New York City where a principal and former teacher have been accused of improper sexual behavior
Any sexual contact between teacher and student is a crime. Sexual abuse is a child becoming a sexual partner for an adult. Anyone under the age of 18 who is used by an adult for sexual gratification is being Sexually Abused whether or not the child consents.
Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. People trust schools to protect their most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.
Ross Ellis, Chief Executive Officer of Love Our Children USA said “To believe it can’t happen to us and our children – that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being — is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual — they don’t discriminate.”
What can be done?
Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. People must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.
People must insist for and demand:
• Laws that mandate fingerprinting teachers and other school employees and conduct FBI checks on their criminal history
• Educate about child abuse prevention education beginning at the school board level … establishing strong, clear policies that warn teachers of inappropriate conduct, such as putting themselves in vulnerable positions where they are alone with students.
• Hold mandatory child abuse prevention training and educational seminars for all staff including teachers, bus drivers, cooks, etc. on a monthly basis. Training sessions can help educators understand their district’s policy, the warning signs of possible sexual abuse, and the procedures for reporting abuse when they see it.
• School leaders must make it clear to all staff that the district is serious about investigating any hint of child sexual abuse.
• District policies must stress all employees are mandated to report any suspicion of sexual misconduct and make clear that they will be disciplined if they fail to do so
• Stricter reference and background checks. Meticulously screening of new hires. School administrators must do criminal background checks on applicants and call their former employers and associates, including some who may not be listed on their resumes. Be leery of gaps and frequent changes in an applicant’s job history.
• Remove the accused teacher from contact with children, usually with a suspension, during the investigation
• Immediately notify police or community social service authorities.
• Train students about inappropriate behavior by adults and where to report it if they ever see it occur
• Organize a team of supervised peer counselors where students have a place to go
Ellis said “We must write to our legislators and demand Zero Tolerance.”
Contact your politicians and ask for stronger laws that protects children and for a stronger statute on mandated reporting of child abuse. All responsible citizens with knowledge of child abuse, which is a crime, should be required to report it, even if it’s only suspected. Write letters, e-mail, make phone calls … take action.
It’s time for America to wake-up. Knowledge is power. Learn all you can about child abuse. Educate yourself, your children, your family, your friends, neighbors — everyone you know. Please keep children safe.
More information about bullying and how to help your children and students can be found at www.loveourchildrenusa.org
About Love Our Children USA
Love Our Children USA is the national nonprofit leader that honors, respects and protects children. Its mission is to break the cycle of violence against children. Love Our Children USA has become ‘the go-to’ prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children in the U.S. Working to eliminate behaviors that keep children from reaching their potential, it redefines parenting and creates kid success by promoting prevention strategies and positive changes in parenting and family attitudes and behaviors through public education. Empowering and supporting children, teens, parents and families through information, resources, advocacy, and online youth mentoring. Its message is positive …one of prevention, empowerment and hope. Since 1999, Love Our Children USA has paved the way in the prevention of violence and neglect against children … keeping children safe and strengthening families.
Contact: Media Relations
Love Our Children USA
1.888.347.KIDS (5437) / 212.629.2099
media@loveourchildrenusa.org
Our Child Abuse Handbook is now FREE to the public!
This FREE E-book is available for immediate download by clicking HERE
An educational child abuse handbook: The Child Abuse Handbook is an educational self-help tutorial with information pertaining to all aspects of child abuse & neglect. It will teach you child abuse signs/symptoms, facts/ statistics, effects, intervention, reporting, prevention, and provide resources to help victims & survivors locate the help they need to obtain a full recovery. This handbook also provides state & local hotline numbers and contact agencies.
Posted by Sandra On October - 8 - 2009ADD COMMENTS
United States Child Abuse Reporting Numbers
If you suspect abuse DO NOT WAIT until you can “prove” child abuse — make a report whenever your worries about the safety of a child turn into suspicions that the child is being abused or neglected.
Posted by Sandra On October - 8 - 2009ADD COMMENTS
Child Safety Tips
One in 42 children will become lost, missing, kidnapped or run away this year. While stranger abduction is relatively rare, it still happens. Most abductions are perpetrated by someone the child knows.
Child abduction is a tragedy….It devastates the parents, families, and touches all of us.
Please read the following carefully about ways to keep your children safe.
Things You Should Do
* Pay attention to where your children are at all times; don’t lose sight of your child in public places.
* Never leave children alone in cars.
* Establish strict procedures for picking your children up at school, at a friend’s, a movie, etc. Tell your children not to accept rides from people with whom you have not made previous arrangements – even if they say they are a police officer, teacher, or friend of the family.
* Establish a family code word. Tell your children never to go with someone who does not know the code word.
* Teach your children their full names, your full name, address, and telephone number. Teach them how to reach either you or a trusted adult, and how to call for police assistance.
* Make sure they know how to make local and long distance telephone calls. Even a small child can be taught to dial 911 or 0 for “Operator” for help.
* Tell your children about the abduction problem in a calm and simple way as if you were teaching any other important coping skill.
* Listen attentively if your children talk about anyone they encounter in your absence.
* Have photographs of your children taken four times a year (especially for pre-schoolers). Make a note of birthmarks and other distinguishing features.
* Have fingerprints taken of your children.
* Remember that child predators look like regular folks.
* Keep an open dialog about safety; give situational quizzes about all safety issues.
Teach Your Children
* Never to leave the yard without permission. Very small children should play only in the backyard or in a supervised play area.
* Not to wander off, to avoid lonely places, and not to take shortcuts through alleys or deserted areas.
* They are safer walking or playing with friends.
* Always to come straight home from school unless you have made other arrangements.
* Never to enter anyone’s home without your prior approval.
* To scream, run away, and tell you or a trusted adult if anyone attempts to touch or grab them.
* Not to give out any information on the telephone, particularly their name and address, or that they are alone.
* Never to go anywhere with anyone who does not know the family code word.
* To keep all doors locked and only admit authorized people into the house. No one else should be permitted to enter.
* To memorize their full names and address, including city and state.
* To memorize their telephone number, including zip code.
* How to use the telephone to make emergency, local, and long distance calls.
* Never to go into your home if a door is open or a window is broken.
* How to work door and window locks.
* How to answer the doorbell and telephone when they are home alone.
* To run to the nearest public place, neighbor, or safe house if they feel they are being followed.
* To tell you if someone asks them to keep a secret, offers them gifts or money, or asks to take their picture.
* To always tell you if something happened while they were away from you that made them feel uncomfortable.
A LISTING OF RESOURCES TO HELP YOU: _____________________________________ —MOST OF THESE HELP AGENCIES ARE NATIONAL, BUT THEY CAN REFER YOU TO THE APPROPRIATE GROUP CLOSEST TO WHERE YOU ARE.
Following is a list of Web sites containing useful information on child abuse as well as effective parenting. Many of the organizations who sponsor the sites use offer additional resources such as consultation, training, research, advocacy, or dissemination of information on child abuse.
Child Care Aware – Committed to helping parents find the best information on locating quality child care and child care resources in their community. Child Welfare League of America – Child Welfare League of America National Data Analysis System CWLA, in cooperation with the nation’s state child welfare agencies, provides a comprehensive, interactive child welfare database. Internet users can create customized tables and graphs, as well as access to information on child abuse. Child Welfare Information Gateway – Child Welfare Information Gateway connects professionals and concerned citizens to timely, essential information and resources targeted to the safety, permanency, and well-being of children and families. Child Welfare League of America National Data Analysis System – CWLA, in cooperation with the nation’s state child welfare agencies, provides information on child abuse in a comprehensive, interactive child welfare database. Child Trends Data Bank – Source for the latest national trends and research on over 100 key indicators of child and youth well-being. Children’s Action Alliance – Helps promote the well-being of children and their families through research, policy development, media campaigns and advocacy. Children’s Defense Fund – Mission is to ensure every child a Healthy Start, a Head Start, a Fair Start, a Safe Start, and a Moral Start in life.
Children Now – Information on child abuse and on making children the top public policy priority.
Circle of Parents – Network of parent-led self-help groups where parents and caregivers can share ideas, celebrate successes, and address the challenges surrounding parenting. Family and Marriage Counseling Directory – Articles, resources, and databases for finding family and marriage counselors. Focus Adolescent Services – Resources on Teen and Family Issues. Topics include anger and violence; self injury such as carving, branding and marking; and abuse.
G.W. Medical Publishing – G.W. Medical Publishing is a leading clinical and forensic publisher serving the medical, legal, social service, and law enforcement communities with the resources they need to combat child abuse, sexual assault, sexual exploitation, domestic violence, child trafficking, and other maltreatment. KIDS COUNT Data Book – Project by the Annie E. Casey Foundation to track status of children in the United States. Life Prints Child Protection Technology – Life-Prints’ mission is to provide the most advanced technology to the Child/Infant ID market, by developing and supporting proprietary, user-friendly software that interfaces with state-of-art equipment, with levels of customer support unattainable elsewhere. MEDLINEplus – A service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health. National Data Archive on Child Abuse – Exchange among researched in child maltreatment field.
NetSmartz – Interactive, educational safety resource that teaches kids and teens how to stay safer on the Internet. New Parents Network – Articles and information on child abuse and other topics for new parents. Parents Anonymous – The nation’s oldest for information on child abuse prevention. Prevent Child Abuse America – Dedicated to providing information on child abuse and inspiring hope to everyone involved in the effort to prevent the abuse and neglect of children.
Search Engine for Children – This site contains over 20,000 child-safe sites, and over 4,000 categories including the arts, computers, directories, entertainment, games, health, news, people, pre-school, school time, sports, hobbies, and family. Stand for Children – Advocate for improvements to and funding for programs that give every child a fair chance in life. State Sex Offender Registries – Registered sex offenders, listed by state. The Stephanie Zimbalist Caring for Kids Fund – Judith Moose, Publicist and PR Friend to Childhelp is donating $2-3/book sold, including her up coming book, “The Greatest Cowboy of Them All,” a reflective story about Johnny Cash that will be distributed through WalMart. TeensHealth – Created by The Nemours Foundation’s Center for Children’s Health Media, TeensHealth provides teens and families with up-to-date, jargon-free advice about health, relationships, and growing up. Topics include issues such as depression and self-cutting, abuse in the family, and safety basics such as internet safety.
Zero to Three – Publications, reference guides to programs, projects and professional developmental services promoting the healthy development of our nation’s infants and toddlers.
DREAMCATCHERS FOR ABUSED CHILDREN, INC. is an official non-profit 501(c)3 child abuse & neglect organization. Our mission is to educate the public on all aspects of child abuse such as symptoms, intervention, prevention, statistics, reporting, and helping victims locate the proper resources necessary to achieve a full recovery. We also cover areas such as bullying, teen suicide & prevention, children\'s rights, child trafficking, missing & exploited children, online safety, and pedophiles/sex offenders.
(888) 477-2669
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