What Child Abuse Survivors Want The Public To Know
Dreamcatchers for Abused Children posted a question on our Facebook page directed to all survivors of child abuse. We asked, “ If there was one thing that you would like the public to know about child abuse and/or how it has affected your life, what would it be?” We were shocked at the amount of heartbreaking, emotional replies we received. We have decided to share these replies as we feel it is imperative for the public to know – especially the abusers themselves to see just how much they have directly affected their victims. Many survivors’ lives are characterized by frequent crises e.g. job disappointments, relocation’s, failed relationships, financial setbacks. Many are the result of unresolved childhood abuse issues. The reasons are complex, but for many survivors ongoing internal chaos prevents the establishment of regularity, predictability and consistency. Many survivors function in ‘crisis mode’, responding with stopgap measures which don’t resolve the underlying issues. This can be exhausting and dispiriting and contribute to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The impact of child abuse does not end when the abuse stops and the long-term effects can interfere with day-to-day functioning. However, it is possible to live a full and constructive life, and even thrive – to enjoy a feeling of wholeness, satisfaction in your life and work as well as genuine love and trust in your relationships. Understanding the relationship between your prior abuse and current behavior is the first step towards ‘recovery’.
Research has demonstrated potential negative impact of child abuse and neglect on mental health:
depression
anxiety disorders
poor self-esteem
aggressive behavior
suicide attempts
eating disorders
use of illicit drugs
alcohol abuse
post-traumatic stress
dissociation
sexual difficulties
self-harming behaviors
personality disorders
More likely to commit crimes as juveniles and adults
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REPLIES WE RECEIVED:
(We will continue to add replies as we receive them)
Michelle – The abuse lives on in your thoughts but releasing them and telling people is the way forward to start the healing process.
Nichole – Emotional and verbal abuse can still hurt a child. Even though you see and hear it there is nothing as an aunt or a person can say or do. even if that child acts out in school and is yet at the age of 8 cant tell the difference between mad and upset or any other emotion because he is always told to be quite and go sit in the corner. As an aunty it breaks my heart to have my nephew cry in my arms every weekend saying he wants to live with me. I hate that we will lose the battle for custody because it is not “physical abuse.”
Karren – Because of being molested not long after I started my period at age 10, later in life I didn’t realize I was being taken advantage of at 15. I was basically raped and never knew because I loved the person so I thought it was okay even though I didn’t want to have sex. Teach your kids early that people, even family will hurt them at times and unless you’re okay and comfortable with being touched sexually it’s abuse and it’s wrong. Because of the physical abuse, I have lots of mental disorders. I think everyone is out to hurt me or will leave me.
Michael – If you see it in any way and do nothing saying to yourself that its none of your buisness or whatever…your just as guilty as the person comitting the abuse. Growing up, i cant even tell you how many people saw the signs or actually knew what was happening (i told multiple adults what was happening over the years) and they never even tried to help in any way…as a child who was being abused, it felt like no one cared at all. People need to understand that.
Brand – My childhood abuse has cost me a relationship with 3 of my siblings, since my abuser was their father, they are unable to accept it. This is sad and can leave a victim feeling revictimized. Its truly sad.
Eva – I’ve been abused my whole life…by my parents. Even know I have so many problems due to my abuse. People tend to believe that parents are always good but it is not true. Or they say often “get over it’ when they have no idea about what it’s like to live everyday with the fear or the pain. They need education in order to realize the signs of abuse and the ways to prevent it.
Donna – Child abuse destroyed my spirit. I’m 52 years old, and it still affects me.
Charlie – I am a survivor off child sexual abuse I was abused from ages of 4 – 10. It was a uncle from his point of view he weren’t doin anything wrong as he didn’t have full intercourse till I was almost 8yrs old, but abused me in one off the most degrading ways prior to this by age of 8 I was supposed to know how to entertain properly. I was told I killed my own father as he became ill & sadly passed away too but as I didn’t want to play abusers sick games thats what I was told. For many years I thought abuser had died over 30 yrs ago but only.died with in last 3 yrs. I’m now 45 yrs old in counselling too it does get easier but still have flashbacks as recent as only last week but I’m now a mother a nanny but most off all not a victim but a survivor but without support from groups like this one. I would still be in a dark place but with support from family & friends too I am now a standing warrior who can fight this till I feel I can close it down for good out off my heart & mind. CTH
Karen – The physical and psychological abuse and neglect have made me unable to feel “real” love or emotional attachments. I don’t trust anyone or anything. I despise myself and have never felt worthy of anything. I give everyone else what I desperately need. That is encouragement, compassion, and understanding. I will be 50 years old this year and I have never once looked at myself and felt compassion for the woman that I see in the mirror. The depression and anxiety never go away. I always have a smile and a kind word for others. But behind the mask, I’m suffocating……
Tina – Terminal loneliness. .no matter how accomplished I became nor how many nm people I knew. . Always very empty. I’m 63 And foster homes were no picnic either. I’ve been in many. .Receiving home every other year. Back home to my adopted mom. Just to go threw it again. Over and over. I was famous cause I was sold at birth. Once case was over moved, abuse of every kind happened. I have had it good and bad and am grateful today. LIFE NOW IS GOOD. Thanks to GOD and my Daughter
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Ruth – Reiterating what most people are saying we as parents have to EDUCATE our CHILDREN so they do not become a victim. I would hate to be the person who ever tries to hurt any of my nieces because they aren’t going to see the light of day ever again.
Dorothy – It changed my life forever. I would like to think it doesn’t define me but it definitely changed me. It made me grow up to feel alone, like I couldn’t trust anyone. To this day I am terrified of the dark. If someone touches me in any way, I freeze. If someone touches me inappropriately I regress back to the helpless little girl and become unable to do protect myself. It stole my innocence at the age of 7 never to be recovered. I still have nightmares about someone touching me while I am sleeping. It stole my peace of mind. I’m exhausted of being a survivor. I would like to not have had this nightmare to survive.
Kriss – Just because one survives child abuse does not mean that we don’t need help, support and understanding as adults.
Betty – I was molested for 9 years. From age 3 to 12. I was raped at 13 by my much older boyfriend. Those were one of the most painful experiences of my life, but I don’t let it stop me from living my life. I don’t want the bad in my life to define who I am. Life is precious. I believe the beauty in this world outweighs the ugly. I like to believe surviving the horror of abuse has made me more passionate and has me loving life more. I was built to survive and I will never let anyone take that away from me.
Ann – Educate your kids early about child molesters. My daughter was 4 and it took 7 years for her to realize it was bad what happened to her. These sickos are everywhere and children must be protected. It was a close family member that hurt us. And the DA is inept and will not pursue charges. My family will never heal it feels like. I am so very sad and feel helpless that I could not protect my daughter.
Lisa – It consumes you if you don’t face it.
Corey – Child abuse exists in secrecy, if we remove the secrecy it makes it that much harder for someone to abuse. I was abused, all forms, from age 2 (my earliest memories) until I left home a month before my 15th birthday. I had teachers who suspected abuse, but they all turned the other way, leaving me to continue to survive not live. When I did begin to disclose my abuse when I was in foster care, I was not supported or believed. This had a devastating affect on me. I learned that no one was safe to talk to, to disclose my experiences to, or trust. It is vital to believe and support children and youth when they disclose abuse. If you don’t, you’re risking a wide range of problems for these vulnerable people to face as they enter and live through adulthood. When a child discloses, give them a chance to live, not force them to continue surviving because you chose not to believe them. I am now 31 and have spent the past three years in and out of a psychiatric hospital because I could no longer cope with the realities of my abuse or the lack of support I’ve received in my life. I have developed a severe mental illness and part of the symptoms of my mental illness is chronic self harm and suicide idealizations and attempts, all formed from the chronic abuse, neglect and lack of support I received. Abuse has devastating impacts on people who’ve experienced it, but with early intervention and support, these vulnerable people can have a chance at a life worth living.
Judy – You never understand why the adults who are suppose to protect you didn’t and covered it up.
Aubrey – Emotional abuse is the worst because there are no outward signs and if the person is up in the community many people don’t listen without screaming. Learn to stop the cycle.
Amber Lynn – I think about my trauma everyday. I re-live the frightening memories, I see his face and even can smell his Cologne, even though it’s been 24 years. I’m constantly reminded of him, for he is my brother’s father (I do not place any blame or burden on my brother.) Sometimes I regret that I didn’t kill my abuser when I was 11, I wrote a note to my dad instead, telling him what was happening to me and my sister. I did tell my mom a year before that, and she called me a liar. There’s still so much pain. I meditate everyday, I go to therapy, and I imagine myself as a survivor, not a victim.
Madhusree – That people don’t ask for it. Sexual abuse exists because the predator exists. They should learn to put 100 % blame on the perpetrator. Also, just because I’m dating you, and have opened up to you about my trauma, doesn’t mean you use it to shame me and shut me up each time. I’m as worthy of love and respect as any other person on the planet.
Tre – It perverts my perception of everything in my life, nothing is good, I try too hard to be accepted by men and women, it’s a nightmare!!!!!!!
Raiderette – In so many ways, your childhood is taken away in that instant. Is an ugly feeling that never stops haunting you. If your going through that please tell somebody, there is still people that care.
Rita – That the biggest danger is sometimes right under your own roof. When a family member betrays trust it devastates everything your foundation was built on, but no matter who the offender is, when you learn of the abuse it must be reported!
Christalyn – You want to protect everything in and out of your control. You feel so deeply that in many cases you can’t function or be a part of movies, events, or experiences because you know it will hit triggers where you respond inappropriately either angry and or emotional.
Emily – You never forget n ur scared to live ur life at times!
Jackie – That you can never trust again and always feel insecure.
Mara – I never forgot being called, “A fucking whore with a filthy puss” by my so-called “mother” when I reported the abuse to the police. The cops did not believe me either. That is where I have my counter-dependency from. I want the public to know that words will stay in your memory for a lifetime.
Lisa – I was abused when I was 9 years old.Then groomed when I was 13, then raped by 2 different men when I was 16. I have had depression since I was 9, I started to self harm at 16 and still do it to this day, the last time I self harmed was 30-1-16. I’m 57 now and I live with what happened to me every day. I went to see the nurse the other day, and she let me talk to her about things. She said I should ask the Dr if I can be referred to go and see a psychologist, as she thinks it will help me. I don’t trust anybody, I have BPD, I take 2 different kinds of anti -depression tablets and sleeping tablets, my life has been hell. I just can’t get over what happened to me. Maybe one day I might be able to move on.
Theresa – It’s back to bite me in the behind forty-years later.
Keri – I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused from the time I was 3 until 15 yrs old. Let me start with I am almost 40, and it has effected me every day since. My brain does not function correctly I suffer from extreme PTSD, depression, anxiety, extreme anger, it led to massive drug use, (now been clean and sober for 6 years) there is sooo much more but for me it’s only getting worse. I feel like I can’t get passed this if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear …because for me I’m reliving this a use over and over and over. I have constantly been told to “get over it” or I have to forgive those who wronged me. When a child is abused their brains do not grow right. All the things a child is supposed to enjoy was robbed from me. I may forgive those who wronged me, but how do you function properly?
Peggy – It often takes a lifetime to heal, affects on all levels of your being, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. You have to fight tooth and nail…I am a survivor of sexual abuse suffered as a child.
Cheryllynn – For me it means…Severe PTSD, Flashbacks, Night sweats, Severe Panic and Anxiety, Lack of Trust, Forever scarred.
Angela – It’s not your fault.
Lisa – That doubting a Survivor’s truth, will help them spend their entire lives doubting themselves & can blur the lines between reality & paranoia for a lifetime…
Brittany Marie – I was never abused but I can only imagine what everyone of you went through , I’m so deeply sorry! I wish we could just put every child molester in a jail and just throw away the key. They don’t deserve to walk the streets again for what they did to poor innocent children! Sickens me so much that people could harm children , it makes it even worse when it’s the parent that’s molesting there own kid . Child molesters will never change . They will always be twisted in the head , we just need to get rid of them. But agian I’m so sorry that everyone of you had to go through that as a kid.
Dianne – The trauma of my assult has never left me!!!…not for one day!!!…I am a survivor!!!… I now have learned to love myself!!!…{{{HUGS}}} to all the SURVIVORS.
Donna – It should be my choice to speak about my abuse, its not up to others to speak for me. I spent years holding my voice back. Now I have it, and I am no longer afraid its my choice of who I tell and how much I say about it. Its no ones story but my own, so at least give me the victim a choice of what and who can know about whats happened to me. Asking permission to speak about my past is the least someone can do.
Theresa – Abusers are often former victims.
Rindi – Alot of people think only adults can be abusive. I was abused at 10-12 years old by my cousin, who was around my age. Though I have come to accept that something awful happened to him, there are things he did which were experiments on his own end, not taught. That messed me up alot to think of a “child” basically capable of such things. I felt like I should have known better, done more. Today I still put unrealistic expectations on myself. And victim blaming hits me harder because of how critical I am on myself especially at that sensative period in my life. Now as a mom something like this happening to my son is one of my greatest fears.
Muneca – Bruises will fade eventually, but verbal abuse will always be embedded into your brain for LIFE.
Darlene – Child abuse devastated self confidence, my ability to concentrate, gave me permanent ptsd. It created bipolar disorder. I’ve been in therapy since the 1990s. Nothing works completely –not even the new therapy emdr. Medication helps but pain is daily. If I didn’t have my creative talents or the fortune to express them, I would’ve killed myself long ago. Thank God for those outside of blood relatives who cared about me and stuck by me.
Rachel – That it does not just “go away” we cannot just “get over it” and tht even when it has been many years since it happened there will always be scars and we will still occasionally have bad or a sad day.
Autumn -You will always have distrust, even after their dead. You can’t just get over it. The more more you talk about it, the more you heal. You will fight yourself everyday, even if your having a good day when it’s over. It’s NOT your fault. You will have to fight for charges. You might lose in court, but you will feel better. If you have the chance to egg your step-dad child molester car and the windows are down and doors are unlocked. Cracked the eggs a little, place under the seats, so they rot and the smell seeps in. Then egg the outside. Wish I would have done that instead of just egging the inside.
Brandy – We are not broken. We are stronger than ever.
Sonya – It does not matter how old you are, you will always remember what happened. If your child has been a victim of it, seek them professional help because this isn’t something you pretend never happened and it won’t make it go away. It will lead to much more issues with them later on in life that could have had a handle on it if someone taught them a better copeing mechanism and didn’t treat them as if “if we don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen.” denial will be present, so won’t regret and hatred, but don’t smother a victim cuz they will just clam up.
Kimmy – I didn’t realize what had happened to me and I didn’t deal with it or tell my parents till I was 19 and in Youth With A Mission where I first disclosed to anyone what had happened ….then I struggled with porn addiction until about a year ago when through Celebrate Recovery I turned it over to my Lord and Savior and I have no desire to even look at porn or read erotica stories anymore…. it caused me to be self loathing and think sex was love and destroyed my innocence. …my earliest memory is about age 6 or 7 and lasted till about age 11….my own biological brother ….to this day we do not talk much and rarely ever see each other and when we do its never alone! We both have families but our children do not know each other nor do my kids know their uncle.
Justine- It’s a battle every single day. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the change, and the hurt and I’m afraid that will never go away completely. It’s a life sentence but when you have God on your side he gives you the strength to keep pushing through and the power to forgive that person in order to find peace and to be able to move forward in life. Unfortunately we can never forget what happened to us but we can use it to educate others to speak out against any kind of abuse. My abuse started at age 13 by the one person who was suppose to protect me and make sure nothing ever like that happened to me. It was extremely hard considering I was always a “daddy’s girl” that was the worst kind of betrayal and I was terrified to speak up so it went on for a while. I finally spoke up and yes it was extremely difficult to do and going through the trial and all that was so hard but God held my hand. I honestly would’ve never pulled through without him. Here I am now 23 years old with 2 kids of my own and a wonderful husband who knows my story but loves me anyway. This life isn’t perfect but I am truly happy now. There is always light at the end of every dark period. Keep fighting! You’re journey isn’t over yet.
Juanita – I was physical and mentally abused by my adoptive mother. The scars heal but the mental damage remains through life. You self esteem, your worth and value as a person take years to recapture. You have to fight inside not to be that way yourself with your own kids. There will always be triggers through out life that will send you back to those day and cause you want to protect yourself. Your inner child is forever damage and needs love and nurturing to be whole again. Trust and the ability to love is always effect. We are all survivors and can know that we will continue to survivor and fight another day. God Bless to all of you.
Rhonda – The emotional scars will remain forever. The physical abuse I can get over as long as no one else hits me. I made sure that once I became a mother that I would tell my daughters everyday that I love them, that they are worthy and I am proud of them. I don’t believe in the statistic that abused children become abusers themselves. I did a 360 on that theory. My children are grown now and we are very close. They are beautiful. I will forever be the first person to report or stop any child abuse that I know about for I won’t let it happen to any other innocent child!!
Mary – That It Stays With You Forever! I Was Diagnosed With Severe Disabilities Due To The Abuse Both Physically And Mentally!
Dolores – To this day I can still hear the words, You will never amount to anything. You will be a dog just like your mother. Those words will never go away, especially when I fail at something. So don’t say anything mean or disrespectful to your children. That was the verbal abuse. I have yet to mention the other abuses I have gone through. In time I will.
Daphne – I agree it never truly goes away. Some it kills from the inside out… Some it makes very untrusting and at times it just makes you stay away from people.
Lindsey – That it can completely transform a child. I’ve watched an excelling student who was the top of their class for 3 years drop down to average within 6 months. Their joy stolen, their drive for life robbed from them, their childhood shattered. The child has to worry and dwell on thoughts no child should ever have to. They don’t feel normal, they lose their trust in people. They lose who they are.
Al – For the survivor, it’s a life sentence. For the perpetrator, it’s just another bump in the road, to be left behind, forgotten and minimized.
Nikki – It is a sentence for life always, with u not fixable.
Mary – Child w/drunk parents…..
Stephanie – Teach hem about body boundaries and that it’s okay to have them.
Emma – I wasn’t abused BUT MY BEST friend was. Her dad sexually abused & made her a slave to him until she got her 1st period then it all stopped. Dunno why but he kept yelling the Devil has you now. I was so young and the year of the 60’s and 70’s. I all knew was to confort her and be the BEST friend I could be. Her older brother found out but still scared to do anything SO soon as he turned 18 he saved her an they fled. They reported the father and he was found guilty and 25 year’s in prison for other thing’s they found he was doing. He’s not even aloud around her kid’s much less anyone else’s for LIFE. CRAZY man.
Angela – I am mentally unstable and one of my son’s are also. It is a lifelong changer.
Amanda – I’m 32 years old, this happened when I was 6 and I’m still in intense therapy and on serious medication to deal with PTSD trauma that affects me sometimes hourly. Nightmares are so real, you can feel the man breathing.
Cheryl – Trust is earned, not deserved.
Lisa – It happens more than anyone thinks it knows and when your child tells you listen kids don’t be afraid to tell I was and it has affected my relations ships. I am 54 years old and I still have nightmares and counseling.
Becky – Mine is so long, and, reads like a movie. My father started molesting me when I was 3 or 4, this went on until 14…he was a drunk, my mother is a sociopath….I am 58…I confronted my mother about it 4 years ago, and, her words were “What did you want me to do? Get over it” She knew about it….so now, I am the “black sheep” have no family, or even speak to my mother. She won’t speak to me because I ruined her life by speaking out…I struggle with this everyday, every mothers day, every holiday…I won’t, however, sucumb and lower myself to speak to her…..I gave it all to God….I can’t handle this without Him…..I will never get closure from her… Thanks for listening.
Lisa – Scared. In 1994 I lost my little girl to cancer when she was 8. I had heard through family members that my dad who abused us kids was gonna die of cancer. My first thought was no!!! I begged GOD not to let him in heaven… I refused to let him touch my daughter…. I need to protect her.
January – It effects every aspect of your life. It never goes away you just learn to better cope, an if you’re fortunate enough to forgive you are doing the best you can.
Rachel – That it does not just “go away” we cannot just “get over it” and that even when it has been many years since it happened there will always be scars and we will still occasionally have bad or a sad day.
Judy – You never understand why the adults who are suppose to protect you didn’t and covered it up.
Michelle – It will never leave you, you cannot get over it. Go to a counselor it might lessen the mental state. In the courtroom be prepared to be called a liar by the persons defense.
Amy – It doesn’t just go away and we can’t just get over it. the healing is only outward deep, there comes a time where one may never know we have “problems” but our souls are forever scarred. There will always be times where we remember vividly because of a stimulus or trigger- if you know me, just love me, if you don’t, don’t judge my present mental status. PTSD is REAL. And there are so many more “sub-diagnosis’s that go with it. NEVER ignore a suspicion of child abuse. My story (long story short) here at the end, I’m doing great. Married, 3 kids, stay at home mom/ student..I’m blessed to say I am victorious. I have my moments but I am not to blame, I am not dirty, I am not a victim, I am a victor!
Becky – I’ve never been abused. But I see it everywhere, everyday. We have no law to help children. I’m sick over this. I see the statistics, I look around at children and know quite possibly it is happening. These monsters that have taken from each of you in my mind is a murderer. They’ve killed the person in you that you were. They’re thieves that stole from you. They’re monsters. I’m fearful and don’t trust just hearing these stories daily. I pray about this sort of thing, but I don’t pray to make those monsters better I pray that the Lord sends them straight to hell and that real justice could be found here on earth.. There is no law harsh enough for these criminals and it’s the worst criminal there is. You are all so brave and strong.. I’ll pray for peace in your heart and mind.
Rustyann – The trauma of abuse stays with you. you never get over it you learn to survive and cope with everything… i still effects me to this day. i can not go to sleep at night without nightmares/flashbacks so i try to sleep a few hours in the day, and still have problems trusting people.
Julie – If you plead the blood of Jesus over your mind when you lay down to go to sleep and you pray for protection he will do it.
Lisa – I’ve been told to grow up, by some of my own family members because I suffer from PTSD. I can’t trust anyone, especially with my kids. Also, just because you have “dealt” with what happened to you doesn’t mean that I have “dealt” with what happened to me.
Julie – That no matter what you may have gone through, what you suffered from, you can still have a good life, you don’t have to succumb to the atrocities forced upon you against your will. You were a victim, but you can rise above and you can be freed and healed, but it’s a choice, albeit a tough one. You are precious!
Robin – It last all your life it just doesn’t quite reminding you.but strength of the mind is strong.
Rhonda – That it really happens in the “best of circumstances” and children only have you to protect them, to believe them, to see them, child abuse and survival isnt healing.. healing is one day , one month, one year, one decade, one century at a time.
Ann – Educate your kids early about child molesters. My daughter was 4 and it took 7 years for her to realize it was bad what happened to her. These sickos are everywhere and children must be protected. It was a close family member that hurt us. And the DA is inept and will not pursue charges. My family will never heal it feels like. I am so very sad and feel helpless that I could not protect my daughter.
Beverly – THAT IT CHANGES WHO YOU ARE! HOW YOU FUNCTION, BELIEVE AND LIVE! IT NEVER GOES AWAY…NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!!! (and it is usually the someone that no one would ever believe would do that and the attack is usually on the victim…the perv just keeps on and gets away with it more than not!!!)
Paula – It robs you.
Sandra – That’s someone else can’t “cure” it if they just “love you enough.”
Bobbie – Don’t ever leave your kids alone w uncles.
Jon – While we survived and most days appear to THRIVE, there will always be “echoes”. Things that automatically make us feel connected to the trauma. Whether its the man who leans into my personal space a little too much during conversation and sets off the firing of every nerve or the way I’ll forever eye everyone coming in contact with my own children with jaded suspicion…. It will always be as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or the very good memories of my childhood.
Annemaree – The hardest part is living each day with no apology.
Debbie – Don’t trust anyone!
Shirley – Be extra careful who u leave your kids with, and please, please any inclination u have, remove your child straight away from the situation, also be very careful when doing so because no doubt they will physically abuse, but be very careful also who u ask for help , sometimes even people in authority will give these creeps a licence to do what they want and things can turn very nasty. I wish I could tell u my story but really it would take too long, but please just be so careful who u have around your kids an who u have staying in your home because these things can happen to your kids, when your sleeping. I can’t even leave my granddaughter in a room with any man and its not because I think all men are the same, because there are men who woudn’t do such things, but the thing is we don’t know who these people are. They dont walk around with a label on their head. They could be any one we know – it could be brother, a father, an aunt, uncle, family friend and so on. It is so sad to have to feel this way, but prevention is so much better than cure.
Trudy – Make children more aware of “Stranger Danger.”
Vera – Children need be educated at young age today about every form off abuse as children think that there is only one form of abuse and that’s PHYSICAL.
Victoria – That no matter what , no matter how much you still think about it , how much you still feel the hurt the anger and the sadness don’t let it ruin the rest of your life! It took me 35 years to realize that i was self destructing , self loathing ruining not only my life but hurting others as well making myself and them pay for what awful things one person had done. You are stronger than all of it. Be an educator be the voice that we wish someone could’ve been for us! make others know they are not alone. And hold your children a little closer a little longer each time you hug them and give thanks you know you are protecting them from becoming one of us.
Dee – Not all sexual abuse hurts physically. I had a very hard time with shame for many years because my abuser didn’t hurt me and I felt pleasure from it so I felt it was my fault!
Vera – Just few words ….It never goes away u will constant revisit the childhood trauma …from a lady who was physically ..mentally….emotionally…. verbally and sexually abused …love to all out there.
Amber – That even though they think it doesn’t effect them, it does. It has many terrible effects on society in general.
Eletha – The devastation u feel when u reach adulthood,that everything u have bin taught to do as a child was wrong.like sexual pleasing adults was an ordinary thing..or not being able to sleep at night because going to bed was not about bed time stories & being tucked in,it was crying yourself to sleep, feeling terrified waiting to be strapped..& that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Natalie – it never goes away….even as you go on with your life, its always there lurking in the shadows.
Shannon – The best post. Advocate for yourself and survivors. Let them know they are never alone. Wake up every day knowing it’s a new one. No matter how dark it is, I promise you if you stay with it the light comes.
Tracy – How it can ruin your life forever! I still have nightmares and bad anxiety. Hate going out in public and even though I want a boyfriend I don’t like the attention I get from men, I almost feel ashamed and filthy, like I’m back in that horrible moment; and it’s been 15-years.
Nick – That the one my step dad despised (me) went on to eclipse his other 2 biological children. Let their cruelty propel you when you are not the precious child, but just the lowly handmaid. “When everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.” Choke on that, you dead, rotting SOB.
Stacy – I think when a parent who is a convicted felon for robbery several times and never helps with child support and has a drug addiction and drinking problem ,but yet the courts let that parent be involved in that child’s life is very damaging.Especially when that parent just wants visitation to upset and be in the mothers life,and has NO interest in the child.
Elizajane – Never assume it will never happen to your children.
Hannah – There needs to be more help afterwards for these poor children whom suffer at the hands of these sick sick animals ….. there is nothing available in some areas of England ….. the suggestions from the social services for years was to put my child in care absolutely disgusting I know ….. but I was a strong mum and I coped the best I could 12 years later still trying to cope with a son whom has chronic ptsd diagnosed by a private professional whom the court paid for ….. with the hope off private treatment soon our whole lives have been affected with no help.
Connie – Don’t follow your abusers path break the cycle…. I could never put my children through what my alcoholic father put us through. Im 45 and struggle with my childhood daily. But have learned to deal with it and I’m an adult and he can’t hurt me anymore and he will answer one day to a higher power.
Jane – I am a survivor. Sad to say it will never go away. I always have flashbacks. But I know I have to live with this. I have been sexually, emotionally and physically abused. And blamed myself. Believe it or not by my grandfather.
Morgan – It just doesn’t go away and it doesn’t get easier. In fact the opposite. Milestones in life have you more angry because it’s so very exhausting to survive. Oh and therapy I’ve had lots. If it was as simple as eye movements and hypnosis to remove the pain of the memories do you not think I haven’t tried it????
Amanda – I learned how to be a good mother & protector. I thank God I’m able to stay home with my kids because I don’t trust many people with them. I don’t keep them in a bubble but I teach them well about the dangers in this world. No sugar coating. I’ve prepared them for every imaginable situation & I’m confident they’ll know the signs of anything suspicious. I was also abused as an adult & was strong enough to get out of that after having a son. No way I was raising a kid in that hell. Now I’m married to a wonderful man & my kids are very loved & supported.
Bethany – It sticks with you and sometimes even with a partner you want to be with you still get that urge to run away from even the most innocent of gestures that most people would see as affection. That triggers do happen to go slow to be honest I’m surprised i made a baby with my partner because how love an abuse get mixed up emotionally when you know its love but your instinct is to fight because in the past its been abuse but you were too little to put up a fight then.
Nundi – I can’t trust ANYONE around my son. I have a hard time leaving him in school or just anyone. I know that the people you trust will hurt you and others will look the other way. Anxiety is always level 10. And there will always be flashbacks from years of abuse and fowl memories.. I’ve been suicidal and will always have to take meds. But I made it and you can make it too.
Dianne – The trauma of my assault has never left me!!!…not for one day!!!…I am a survivor!!!… I now have learned to love myself!!!…{{{HUGS}}} to all the SURVIVORS…
Julia – I am still here to tell my stories.
Carmine – Emotional Abuse is not something you can just “get over”. The screaming, the threats, and the insults echo in your head. The feeling of abandonment and hatred stirs in your heart and everyone thinks its no big deal as long as it wasn’t physical or sexual abuse.
Renee – Takes the innocence away and that can never be brought back.
Tonia – I have psyche meds i take all the time. If i miss one day i become someone no one wants to be around and i hate it. I’m so violent. I don’t like anyone by my children family or not. Family and non family assaulted me. Started when i was three then getting taken away at six years old and put into foster care and shit just got even worse.
Tonia – Made me lose my mind! Literally.
Leslie – Don’t expect me to act and react the way “the rest of the world does”.
Veronica – Do not judge jump to conclusions ask obvious questions make a surviving child feel comfortable and safe same goes for adult survivors.
T.K. – Blocking it out till later only makes it worse. Feel it when you should or it will get worse!
Myses – It’s very difficult to have any type of relationship now-a-days. Not even really sure who I really am. It sucks!
Magie – It never goes away, and when it comes to social services they have a awful habit of bringing it up all the time, i was the victim my dad was the abuser, and they keep saying they feel sorry for you, i don’t want anybody to feel sorry for me.
Lynette – We can never trust again no matter how much we want to .forever lonely .
Davina – It’s affected and ruined my whole entire life I always wonder how much different my life would have turned out if I ever would of had a descent childhood. Than I think of how much I love my children more than life its self!!! I could NEVER ever put them through what I went through and how can any parent harm their child I will never understand it. No child deserves this!!!
Viviane – That decades later it still hurts.
Anne – You can lock it away in boxes in your heart but occasionally the lock fails or you open the wrong box when remembering good times.
Judy – The pain never goes away.
Sezzy – Don’t bottle it up.
Rick – Not trusting anyone and don’t if I ever could.
Lisa – Do not get down on yourself… Don’t say things like, “I’m older now, I should be over this already!” It does not ever completely go away. The good news is that you do not have to be a prisoner of their cruelty anymore. You are safe. Be gentle with yourself, say the things you needed to hear as a child to yourself in front of a mirror. Say daily affirmations. Hug yourself, often! Give yourself a break… Understand that none of what you went through was your fault. And even though, no… It was not fair, try as hard as you can not to remain stuck in that thought process. (Some days will be easier than others, and that is okay!) Most of all… Do not let your abusers make your life hell now by dwelling on the abuse or hating on yourself. Love, Love, Love yourself! Because you deserve it. You are lovable and amazing simply because you exist! God Bless!
Terri – To warn children that predators aren’t just adults they can be the same age as them and the same sex. I wish people would understand a child can suffer from PTSD and although they may seem like nothing is wrong unless you spend everyday and night with them you’ll never see how they suffer.
Chana – You never forget or “get over it”. You learn coping techniques and develop the mental spiritual strength that allows to climb out of the dark ugly pit of dark painful memories. Only then can you begin the process of forgiveness, however , you can never wipe the brain or soul of the stain.
Sherry – It effects every aspect of my life, personally I trust no one other than my children, I have abandonment issues, body issues, anger issues. I have no self confidence, I suffer flashbacks that effect me daily. I have a hard time sleeping, I suffer from Fibromyalgia. It is a BIG deal. Just because you have grown into an adult you never stop being that child. It last a lifetime and no you can’t just get over it.
Shannon – Not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. Just because you’re uncomfortable doesn’t mean ANYTHING. How do you think WE felt, or worse, still feel? We live with the horror, the memories and the pain on a daily basis.
Satonia – Child abuse and neglect will color everything I do. It touched everything I did as a child so it makes sense it touches everything I do now. I know many of you get irritated when I flinch when you jokingly move quickly at me. I’m sorry. It’s nothing I can control. A reflex. My emotions change the way they do because that’s how I was raised. We are taught by seeing, mimicking the adults in my life. Even if you don’t see it I am trying to teach myself different. I am rewriting the world I grew up in. Some days I am like a child, exploring this amazing world for the first time, sometimes I’m that scared 6 year old again. Stick around because if you do, you will find if I know you won’t run when things get tough, I am one of the most loyal people out there.
Brittany – You’ll remember it for forever. But it has definitely made me a better parent to my children because I took the abuse and learned from my parents wrong doing.
Tiffany – I find out that my daughter’s father had molested my son when he was little and since he is in cps custody as of right now my case worker tells me that I can not now what is going on regarding my children…..in my option coos county cps office is the one who is abusing children let Alone this morning my 9 year old son ran away from his grandparents fostering him he is tired being mistreated verbally and emotionally and spiritually he’s Catholic he is told that he cannot even read the Bible because they do not believe in Christ frown emoticon tell me what would you call that?
Sandra – There is no quick fix.We as survivors, are entitled to move on, get over it and forgive when we are ready, and no one should tell us differently.
Nyssa – my friends hate it because when I trigger I isolate myself, I don’t want to to be around anyone or go anywhere, I just want to be to myself.
Jerry – That ones false sense of pride and shame compelling one to pretend it didn’t happen to their child, only to passive aggressively use it at will to further harm said child, only serve to ruin the child’s life, every opportunity, relationship and career the child will have, causing them to hate you, and justly so, as the people who suppress the truth are as guilty as the ones who carried out the abuse.
Judy – The judicial system is not dealing appropriately with pedophiles! They need to have mandatory life sentences, instead of 2 or 3 years in prison, then back out to abuse again!
Cheryl – I sought the Lord, yes to heal the horror and terror of the abuse, Praise His Holy Name.
Heather – We deserve justice! And it never goes away the feelings thoughts emotions it feels like it was just yesterday.
Tracy – I can never be normal and I can never forget.
Grant – It is a life sentence for me and others.
Jeannie – That we don’t get over it!!
Cindy – I was physically abused, emotional abuse and sexually abuse. My teen years up into my 20’s were the worst years oh my life. Now I’ll fight for our children so they don’t have to live that life.
Susan -You need to go for therapy the rest of your life!!
Janine – It fucked everything up.
Becki – Abuse by a family member in childhood doesn’t stop. The abuse escalates, although not overt sexual abuse.
Shawna – That even though I won’t ever forget, it doesn’t mean it will rule my life either. It’s important to have coping skills to get through the tough moments and to have a few people close by for positive support. The good Lord has blessed me with a fighting spirit and has helped me to forgive and move on.
Mona – My mom also as a child came from a lot of trauma and she is a survivor. Back then you did not know if you would make it to the United States all the way from Yugoslavia. Thank God that my mom made it because we would not be here if it was not for her never thought about it like this, but now I do I love my mom and dad. May my dad RIP.
Tara – Forever? Doubts, fears and loneliness.
Paul – I am still effected from it since my childhood . Your growing up feeling isolated and paranoid thinking gets in the way. I find it hard to make friends and have trust issues.
Lynn – I don’t remember a time when I ever felt happy, safe, or secure. Instead, anxiety and depression were always a huge part of my life. My earliest memories are being passed around to anyone who was willing to babysit (my babysitters changed frequently) and of my narc father constantly shouting. If a family really doesn’t want a child, it is much kinder to put them up for adoption rather than ignoring and shunning them before they are able to talk. The second part is to figure out where all the unwanted children from previous relationships are supposed to live before handing out divorces and new marriage licenses. I ended up without a home because it was taken over by a skid row drunk. Thirteen year old kids don’t belong in the street because the person your father married now wants a divorce and to keep the home.
Jody – Anxiety and insecurity and failed relationships.
Shenequa – It affects your entire thought process as an adult.
Leanne – Waking up to your stolen innocence is painfully slow, but when a trigger breaks your memory open, even if it’s just a glimpse, you suddenly realize your blessed that your waking up is painfully slow. It’s slow because the release of a memory can take years to heal from -from a book I am writing titled: “Wake up, Annie.”
Kaye – To be understood.
Sandi – How important it is as a parent to believe your child! And being quiet and pretending it never happened doesn’t make it go away! For parents, please get your child help when you find out! Or it will haunt them for the rest of their lives! Trust me, I know!
Kaye – The pain of my childhood still affects my relationships now. I have been diagnosed with ptsd. No one wants to hear my story in my circle of family and friends. My husband totally understands. People say just get over it. People go away. They give me more credit for things. I feel like I am disappearing.
Jazlyn – It changes u.
Susan – I’ve been abused most of my life. Including, sexually, emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. It’s something that is hard to explain and accept, but it happens. It is NOT OKAY. Although you can heal and overcome, no one deserves that treatment. Most of the abuse came from family. Don’t underestimate your need to protect those you love. Don’t protect the abuser. Don’t be a part of it. I’ve suffered with anxiety, PTSD, and depression. There is hope! Lean on Jesus Christ. He can get you through. I’m proof of that.
Brandy – Abusers are hiding in plain sight, in every race, in every economic sector, in every type of job… He or she can be from that “good” family and still be a child molester.
Patricia – No matter how long ago it has been, that pain lingers inside as though it had happened today. I have shown mercy towards my abuser by forgiving but not forgetting. I recognize not many can take the path of forgiveness as I have done, I only did it to find closure to the past.
Sharon – You never trust again.
Veronica – Teach your kids what’s proper touching & what’s not, let them know it’s okay to tell someone if they feel uncomfortable.. Let them know that “NO MEANS NO”!!!
Jonathan – That it doesn’t ever go away and though the scars may not always be visible the abuse always leaves it’s mark.
John – That if you are one who stands with an abuser, you are just as guilty as the perp. #StandUpToChildAbusers
Emily – That my ptsd makes me suffer from insomnia and most nights even with meds I don’t sleep at all or if I do it’s not very well because of the nightmares. Because even though abuse stopped when I got adopted at 4 and 1/2 and am now 22 the memories still creep in. And also that it’s hard for me to automatically trust anyone with my abusers name. They have to earn it and after they do most of the time they get called a nickname.
Jon – Educate others and listen to children. I was 4 and it continued for several years by an uncle. The pain the scars never go away. I am 38 I have flashbacks and nightmares to this day I am still in therapy I don’t know if it will ever go away I don’t think so I am successful with my family and my career. I love and protect my children and I am super vigilant of them. There is so much as a survivor some days I feel like a small helpless child other days I feel like a warrior.
Litza – This is something that happened to me that I had no control over. It is a part of me and that will never change. I see the world much differently because my ability to trust people was snatched away from me.
Erika – The worse thing ever said me me “put your big girl shoes on and move on!” I would want this person to know: Those words are so hurtful, they re-open scars that were healing. It’s damaging to an already damaged soul.
Caryn – Constant fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, loneliness and loss of self esteem and motivation.
Krystian – The pain is still there it dulls down a little bit never goes away. And in extreme cases like mine I have PTSD and there are a lot of triggers I have to conquer and people need to be supportive and be there for us. Not year us down and say that was the past you need to get over it. That hurts too.
Angela – You can not just “get over it” or “move on” “let it go already” we ALL have different ways to cope…not always the best ways, but it’s coping.
Sue – Sometimes its from those you trusted the most. It was something i always knew. I didn’t think it was wrong. It was never discussed. There was never anything done about it. It created a major sexual addiction for me. I never understood why because the most traumatic and violent episodes were blocked. Finally figuring out where the physical scars came from and how they got there has been a major disruption of sanity. Yet facing it and finally releasing it has been an eye opening experience.
Marjy – I wish I could say. Watch for my book.
Gina – Who is still contacting me now and I am 48 years old and my mother still denies it – her boyfriend. I pray every night for their dirt nap. Please help me pray for Donald and Celia quick for peace for my #Socalledleftfutureofrapedemiseandalmostsuicide.
Alisa – The pain never goes away the trans is hard to get past.
Beth – Child in Human trafficking.
Mal – That it has affected every fascet of my life and my relationships with every single person in my life in a derogatory manner. I am in my 70’s and it is still like that.
Courtney – My son nearly lost his life. He is now saving thousands. I created Eli’s Law which just passed the House and Senate. We are awaiting the Governor’s signature.
Robin – PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNS AND DON’T LET JUST ANYONE AROUND YOUR KIDS, NOT EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS. AND, WHEN A CHILD TELLS YOU THERE IS A PROBLEM, OR THAT THEY HAVE BEEN HARMED, BELIEVE THEM. BE A HAVEN FOR THAT CHILD SO THAT HE/SHE CAN COME TO YOU. DO NOT RULE YOUR CHILDREN WITH FEAR.
Jubilee – That it is not only physical or sexual abuse that is occurring. Emotional & psychological abuse are just as damaging, harder to see for what they are, and so difficult to explain.
Alicia – as the years go on & the parent either never filed for divorce or for whatever dumb reason stayed in the marriage. they are giving the impression that what the child did is their fault & they should of spoken out. well excuse the poor broken child for not being a college educated & have common sense about those things. they are busy enjoying being a child, having fun, doing fun stupid things to always remember & talk about in the future. when they get to high school & become an adult they will be psychologically, mentally & emotional, heck probably even physically, unstable, confused, & going berserk cuz they have no idea what is wrong with them. what makes it worse is not having them see a psychiatrist & telling them “get over it”. help your child, tell them you are there for them. they need your help!
Jacquelene – That not only is that child injured – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually ….. For Life; that it can have negative effects, even with extensive Counseling services. Thus – unintended effects on all close to that child-to adult. Many such abused children … are unable to have children of their own.
Melissa – That you are not alone, nor are you responsible for carrying the burden of their faults.
Amanda – If you think something has happened to your child, don’t let them give you the brush off. Telling an adult is never easy, even when asked directly.
Charmaine – That abusers cannot be “reformed” or “fixed.”
Bernadette – Abusers are sneaky and manipulative. I tell my students to tell someone they trust if anyone ever makes them feel uncomfortable. No matter who it is.
Josephine – To be believed.
Rachel – I was sexually abused by my mother. I once had a psychiatrist tell me it would have been better to be abused by a man… I mean really??? WTF???!!! Never let it be said that being abused by a woman is less painful! Physically yes, but definitely not emotionally!!! Not to mention I have huge trust issues! I don’t trust anyone ever!!!
Gina – That the Damage is REAL…As is the ability to HEAL.
Nancy – Shame, hurt, addiction. : (
Lisa – That 44 years later it still has me held hostage. I will never be “normal”. CPTSD has such a hold on me, I can barely function.
Angela – I was diagnosed with a variety of things, one main one is Stockholm Syndrome- I empathize for the abusers (even though I was abused for 8 years). Now being a mother to a daughter and son, I’m able to manipulate my mind to what it should be, to what is right (to an extent). It wasn’t the physical abuse for me, it was the mental abuse for me. And when I made my video to support fellow adults and children and tell my story, I had over 400 views….3 people talked to me about it. 3. My mom, who is struggling by blaming herself. My sister, who the abuse also happened to. And a friend, that surprised me. People are embarrassed and don’t know what to say, in topics such as this. It’s unfortunate, it’s as common to that of a disease or cancer that you had no control of. Disease or cancer is socially acceptable (yet still unfortunate, of course). The difference is, one can be spoke about and the other cannot. To all survivors out there – don’t let your accuser continue to rule your life. Embrace the changes, make the changes, live and love your life.
Shannon – Being taught that your parents are the ones that will hurt you is one of the worst things that can be done to a child. As an adult I still wonder what it would be like if somebody had cared for me when I was growing up. When ever I talk to my dad I wish that he loved me enough to stop calling me names and to stop cursing at me. That he loved me enough when I was growing up that I didn’t have to fear, even as an adult, that he will blow up at me and strike me. I wish I didn’t have to become an adult at such a young age, hiding my siblings so they would not have to face his rage. Or to have to realize at the age of 10 that no one could save me.
Rachel – There is a reason why kids don’t get good grades or look shabby. Investigate don’t ignore!
Jen – Your self esteem never truly recovers. PTSD never goes away. Scars fade, but memories last forever. It effects every relationship you have from there on out.
Sarah – It’s soul destroying, the cruelest experience anyone could ever go through, heart wrenching.
Gareth – It’s survivable, just.
Kerri – I will never know how to trust. I’ve been with my person for 22-yrs. He can not pin me, tickle me, hold my face, i will never play the trust game.I could never imagine falling back in his arms, but he knows that’s me and nothing to do with him not loving me.
Levi – That we can overcome the abuse and live a happy and successful life!
Connie – That even if your child has a history of being a troublemaker, believe them when they tell you they were abused. Also many times a child is abused by someone they know either family friend or relative someone you think you can trust. Telling the victim its not their fault or they are not to blame is important but it still does not mean the person can get over it. Even if the victim feels not responsible the trauma is still very real.
Sandra – Process it and make peace with it BEFORE you have children otherwise it will emotionally cripple you.
Trena- That the victim should never be blamed, and they need to be told that as much as possible. That the child will never be the same again. That therapy is absolutely necessary.
Fiona – haunting.
Robin – It made me more aware of people and always “on guard”. As others have said it never goes completely away.
Melanie – Never doubt that your child is telling you the truth when they tell you they are being abused. Your support is crucial in the healing process molds who they may become as adults.
Veldora – It f^%@s up all your life. Reeeeeal struggle to learn trust…. been a long hard fought battle…. I hate for anyone to suffer any abuses as a child, taints your life forever.
Lisa – Those in positions of authority, or have connections with those in positions of authority, have lots of friends and power. It is difficult, if impossible, to ever get anyone to believe anything against those types because they are usually so well known and liked, these are also the types who will do outrageous things to make the stories sound even less believable. Doesn’t mean they didn’t occur and someone who expressed something fitting the above description shouldn’t immediately be written off as mentally unstable or a liar.
Jade – It affects me daily… in the smallest to the largest ways. It’s hard to explain to ANYONE. Once you do let someone in and tell them about it some relief comes. Sometimes that relief is short-lived. Some people will never understand and some people will use the openness you have about it against you. Some people claim you are playing victim…. but we were victims…. like I said some people will never understand. Each day is really hard. Growing up did not magically make you better. Therapy even sometimes does not help. Sleeping is hard and sometimes scary. Nightmares are almost a guarantee… it leaves you angry. Not just angry but it leaves you feeling incomplete in so many ways. Having your innocence TAKEN from you especially by people who are suppose to protect you is very traumatic. The trauma is very real and long lasting…. all that is just from the act itself… going through foster care and being ripped from your family and feeling unwanted and being shuffled around and not being able to trust anyone is a whole different level to this whole thing. Then you grow up and turn into an adult… with no real stability or tools to break the cycle. .. so you get into abusive relationships and have few long term friendships. You pretty much go through your whole life feeling alone. Feeling empty. Feeling like you somehow did something so terrible that this is your punishment. You end up blaming yourself and others help that by telling you “you could be different” “let the past stay in the past ” “you’re an adult now stop dwelling on your childhood”…. so many people will never understand. I’m okay with people not understanding because in order for them to really get it they would have to go through it…. they would have had to walk in my shoes and after 32 years of pain… of anger… of mistrust… of hurt. …. I would never wish that on my worst enemy. So we go on day to day silently dealing with the things we deal with on a daily basis… if someone happens to ask us why we aren’t smiling more or what’s wrong… we reply with “I’m just tired” or “I’m fine” or something of that nature. We have learned that people aren’t interested in the real dirty details of what made us this way… they just want us to smile and be okay… be okay for them not for us… because it’s easier to just believe someone is tired than to recognize and accept that they are dealing with things that most people would NEVER know how to deal with for even a second. Life is hard… we were victims… but we become SURVIVORS??? Love and prayers to those who have walked in shoes like mine. My heart is with you.
Sharon – It doesn’t define who you are as a person. You are a victim of a horrible crime. Don’t ever let someone tell you that its your fault. You keep telling an adult until someone actually listens and believes you.
Bonnie – You need to BELIEVE the person who says they were abused by someone and NOT BELIEVE THE ABUSER. All abusers will LIE through their teeth to cover their butts and keep themselves out of jail. Don’t be a an abuse enabler. Would you want your own child to have to deal with this for the rest of his or her life? I didn’t think so. Watch carefully and you will know who to believe.
Twyla – Yes, there are times when it all comes back and leaves me so totally breathless, but I have learned to fill my life with new memories by doing and those things that bring joy to my life and have no link to the past whatsoever.
LeAnn – Sometimes it goes from abuse to murder and destroys a family.
Nyssa – That it’s not something you can just “get over” and also just because we were abused by our parents doesn’t make it alright for others to abuse us now.
Penny – It’s real! It happens more than most want to realize or acknowledge. We do not have a choice, we live with it each day of our lives. STOP making the victims feel as if we did something wrong! Listen and try to understand!
Gerry – T-R-U-S-T? Something almost impossible to do.
Donnie – This hurts deeply very deeply.
Ashley – It creates many psychological and emotional issues in adult life. My dad was one of my bullies growing up… I ended up being engaged 2x to abusive men and now have PTSD. I blame it on my childhood… To me- being told I wasn’t worthy was normal.
Heather – It has made it harder for me to interact “normally” on a daily basis. It has affected my fears, my thought process, my reality. I feel like an “outsider”. People who have not experienced it do not understand, the profound, permanent impact it has on every aspect of your life past, present & future.
Mike – Patience, caring, and do not judge.
Chelsea – I hate being told I should “be over it” by now, especially on my bad days. I’ve heard it so much that even I question if I should be over it. I’ve grown and changed so much since it happened, but there are still things that affect me daily because of it.
Jane – it doesn’t install respect for humanity it installs trust issues and fear.
Jenna – I was covered up with shame, guilt, insecurities, misconceptions, rebellion, addictions, violent relationships… for 50 years… but the right therapist helped me peel those emotions out of my mind. I still have PTSD over a lot of childhood issues… but nothing like it was before. Don’t assume anything about your child. If you suspect any abuse… have your child examined and most of all, love that child… be there for them… don’t make them feel bad or dirty and threaten them with abandonment! End the violence & abuse!!!!
Connie – You never forget.
Carolyn – Where there once was a cloud there is now sun.
Hanna – Not talking about it does not prevent it. Educate educate educate! And believe them right away if they tell you it may be the only time they tell you , follow your intuition my mom ignored hers and all the red flags so I suffered 6-16 yrs of age and now I am 28 and falling apart.
Stephanie – It’s made me more aware and more watchful of others because I was never abused and I never abused my children in any way I feel horrible for anyone who is or has been there is absolutely no reason for it.
Becky – It is a Life Time Trauma!
Verleen – You never ‘get over’ it.
Kevin – It has made me the strong, empowered woman I am today. It is only a roadblock if you let it be.
Nana – NEVER means a lifetime for victims.
Angela – You can not just “get over it” or “move on” “let it go already” we ALL have different ways to cope…not always the best ways, but it’s coping.
Mika – It hurts forever. I don’t know how to forgive.
Shannon – I wish I would have told a family member I trusted that I was being abused.
Julie – Wow, what a question. I would have a long answer.
Patricia – When a child tells you their being abused, please believe them.
Crystal – I trust no one, I never have, and never will.
---------------------------------------------By the time you finish reading this, 15 children will have been abused; In the next five minutes, 30 more; Within the next hour, 360 more; And by tonight, close to 8,000+ children will have suffered from abuse, 5 of which will die. Child abuse has increased 134% since 1980 and is now considered a worldwide epidemic. The high jump in child abuse deaths and the shocking increase in statistics highlights the frightening lack of public knowledge.
Educate Yourself -- Learn the Facts
It May Just Save a Child's Life!!
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