To be truly happy and to grow and thrive and turn into functional, happy adults, every child needs to have parents who are as fully present as possible. Simply being in the same room as a child is not the same thing as being present; there needs to be proper engagement happening too. This isn’t always easy, especially when you work or there are other tasks to do around the house, but it must always be something to strive for if you want to have the best possible bond with your children. Here are some useful ideas on how to be a more present, engaged parent.

Sleep Well

Although you may think that being awake for more hours is the best way to be present for your children because you can get more done and still give yourself time to be with them, that’s a false economy. All getting less sleep will do is make you over-tired, non-productive, and short-tempered. Every now and then it’s fine to sleep for less time. Perhaps you are heading out for the day and need to make an early start, for example.

In general, though, you should always aim for around eight hours of sleep so that you awake feeling refreshed and energized, and so that your body and brain have had time to recover from the day you have just put them through. It can be tempting to stay up late after the kids have gone to bed, but that won’t help you be a more present parent. If you sleep well, you will be more focused and more able to play with and enjoy your children the next day.

Get Checked Out

Busy lifestyles can mean that we ignore our own well-being and try to just carry on regardless of how we are feeling. That means skipping trips to the dentist, for example, or not having regular check-ups with the doctor. It also means that when you feel unwell, you try to get over it on your own rather than seeing a professional. This is not a good idea. Having regular physicals is the best way to ensure that you are healthy and can be there for your children.

There are many different physicals available, so check out your insurance to determine which ones you can book. If you are a truck driver, for example, you will need to book a DOT physical. Not only will this ensure that you are fit for work (which is important, of course), but it will also help you stay fit and healthy for your children too. This is absolutely vital if you are to be a present, engaged, happy parent. Children learn from what their parents do, and if they see that you are taking your health seriously by attending important appointments and getting regular check-ups, they are more likely to do the same.

Use Less Tech

Everyone seems to be addicted to technology in some way these days. Although it certainly can be a useful way to find out information, to distract yourself, or even to keep in touch with friends and family members who you might not otherwise see or hear from very much, smartphones and tablets can be the ultimate distraction. Instead, they can take you away from precious time with your children.

Not only that, but they also mean that work is always nearby, and you are never fully focused on the present, but always worried about the next email to come through, or the next phone call to make or take. This is just not a healthy state of being when it comes to being present for your children. When you are playing with them, leave the phone in another room. Turn it off altogether. Do the same with the TV and your tablet, and anything else that can distract you from the moment you should be enjoying with your children. You can always come back to your devices later, but your children need you now.

Look At Them

What do you do when your child asks you a question? Do you answer while continuing with the task you were doing? Do you speak but keep typing or washing the dishes or making dinner, or anything else? Do you look at your child? Looking at your child when you speak to them is vital to connect with them and create a bond. We’ve all been guilty of not doing it; we’re folding laundry or answering an email when a small voice asks a question. We might not even hear it the first time, and if we do, it’s likely that we’ll answer without even turning around.

This is a habit that parents need to get out of if they are going to be truly present. It’s hugely important that you look at your child when you speak to them and fully engage with the question you have been asked. If you are really too busy to be able to do that, then ask them to wait and you will come to them and answer their question in a moment instead.

If you look at your child, it will reassure them that they matter to you and that their thoughts and opinions, and the questions they have about life, are important. If you do this for the little things, your children will be much more likely to come to you with the big things they are concerned about too.

Join In

Simply watching your children have fun and play is not the same as being a present parent. It’s a good start, of course, but what is better is to join in with their game in some way. You’ll have a lot more fun yourself, and you’ll find that when you are immersed in their make-believe world or in a board game or card game, you’ll be able to stop thinking about all the other thousands of things that are going on in your life. You can just enjoy the moment, which is what it is all about.